Saturday, March 04, 2006

That's putting a wrinkle on my face!

Who were the idiots who invented...

1. Toothpaste. We use more for the walls, floors and countertops than oral hygiene. The lids? What lids? Even the attached lids are so congested with dried paste they can't be closed.

2. Legos. Do I need to say more? They are in every aspect of my life including my purse, van, driveway, garden and every nook and cranny in my house.

3. Hair accessories. Refer to legos.

4. Youth sports organizations. Yes, my children participate in them and so does my husband. Don't get me started.

5. Bikini swim suits. Uhhh, yes I have had some in my life (many, many, many years ago).

6. Hydrogenated fats. Sick, sicko!

7. Gauchos, Culots. You know those skirt/pants that have resurrected themselves from the early 80's. Please, they are only cute on a very small percentage of society....very small girls and women that is. Tall girls, shapely women stay away, far away there is no way possible that you can look hip or hot in those....I speak from personal experience here.

8. Tanning beds, tanning creams, suntanning. Okay, this is just my jealous nature speaking because no matter how I try any of these I will just be the woman with lots of freckles and pale skin.

9. Gift bags to hand out at parties. I want to give your child a gift, I don't want you to send my child home with a bag full of crap.

10. Laminated furniture. It's heavy, it's ugly, it's in every room of my house.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate, HATE gift bags. Just more stuff to keep track of until I sneak it into the trash.

And, I'm with you on gauchos. Only those with beautiful legs *and* exactly the right proportions can pull those off. I am not one of those people.

Are you sure that tanning creams won't work on you? Those are a lot better these days. I just feel like a poser using them.
--annie :)

april said...

Annie,
The last tannig cream I used worked okay. I used it in place of hose with a sundress, but the smell really hung around...and it was very obvious to me that the shade of skin I was sporting on my legs was not my natural hue.

Glad your with me on gift bags and gauchos. I may need to apologize to some folks about the gauchos if I think they look cute in them...

melanie said...

Hey Girlfriend, it sounds a little like you may be in need of some peacan sandies or red frosted brownies.

Jessie said...

I would like to add drinkable yogurt. Who thought that would be fun for moms or teachers to clean up? And car buggies at the grocery store...they cause a lot more trouble in the long run.

But about those gauchos...I kind of think they are cute...I missed when they were in style before - sorry. But no, I don't have any, and I am sure that my still lingering baby thigh/butt fat would not be flattered in them, so don't worry, April, I won't be wearing any to church Sunday (or anywhere else).

april said...

Jessie,
Good one! I think I could come up with a lengthy list of idiot food inventions. Top of the list snackables, especially the one with crackers, cheese and meat discs. Like, no mom has those ingredients in her fridge and could throw them in a baggie.....well, obviously I don't have the three pack of oreos and juice box to go with. Okay, so someone is making a million because they were able to shrink wrap convenience.

Gauchos darling, you just made me feel very old. I think I like them with excruciatingly high heels, a low waste and cuffed at the end, but I'm not particular.