I want a horse!

We visited Hannibal Missouri on our vacation. Taking a twenty minute tour in a horse drawn wagon was my favorite part. When I see a horse I immediately want to be friends. I neeeeeed to touch its soft mouth and gaze into its eyes. I know they all love me because they whisk their tales around when they see me and they only do that to people they love. If it weren't for my parents I would have had one billion-gazillion-tillion-lillion horses in my backyard. I asked for a horse for Christmas and my birthday for at least ten years and my mom would get me a stuffed horse or a porcelain horse or a plastic horse. I know she wasn't dumb, but I sure thought they knew what I meant when I said, "I want a horse". I never got a horse, it's a deep wound, but I think I'll live.
Here's the very arthritic-joke-telling driver. He was sweet and cute and told terrible jokes like; Which side of the horse has more hair? Anyone wanna guess? No? THE OUTSIDE!!! Harharhar. Oh, it was good wholesome fun for all.

This here is Pete the horse. He weighs 1700 pounds and eats corn off a coat wire from a little two year old that could be mistaken for a bale of hay.

He tolerates parents hoisting their young kids on his back after he's pulled a wagon full of people around town through brick streets on a hot July day.

Pete was trying to give me a big juicy kiss, but my dadgum toddler got in the way and shoved a wired corn cob in his mouth. It's okay Pete, I know you love me, I saw that tail whisking around, my heart is forever yours.