Tuesday, January 31, 2006

When Life Got Easier

I knew my life was on the up swing when..
1. I could afford to buy the off brand fabric softner.
2. I could pay for gas at the pump and not unload my young to go in to pay.
3. Debit Card could be used at Aldi's.
4. Gap started carrying long jeans in my size.
5. My daughter is old enough to babysit.

Okay now just to make you all feel better here are some down swing moments...
1. The day the cats peed in the van and now on hot days the van smells like cat urine.
2. I didn't use up my gift certificate at Ginger Bay Spa and it expired.
3. Someone stepped on my cell phone and now the screen is bleeding and unreadable.

My thought for the day: for every shiny new item in my home there are 5 garage sale, broken, hand-me-down items to keep Southern Living far far away from knocking on my door for a photo shoot.

Isaac's funny saying for the day, "Mom, I want to stop tooting so I can get on with living my life!" Oh, the humanity!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

These Boots Were Made For Mistaken

Melanie, this is for you.

Several years ago I made the vain purchase of a pair of high heeled black boots. I shopped long and diligently for just the right pair that wouldn't go out of fashion too quickly and was comfortable enough to wear for at least 4 hours.

This year I made the vain purchase of a pair of brown mid heel boots. The sales lady said, "Oh! You wouldn't want anything higher than that!" After I pondered her youthful look and comment, it sunk in she was referring to my statuesque appearance. “You’re saying that because I’m tall?” I asked in my most teacher-mother-I’m older than you so don’t speak again voice. Then my need to explain my entire life story overtook my snotty woman posture and I ended up telling this teenager how being tall bothered me when I was younger, but then I married a giant and now I feel okay about myself…until little twits remind me that I’m not so normal after all!

So into my closet go the brown boots.

This morning was the Lord’s Day. My husband had deacon duty (a.k.a. Deacon Doodie, DD), I had pulpit flower and coffee clean up and our pastor has given his annual speech imploring his flock to get to church before 9 a.m., so if you happen to be late this month, you will look like a complete schmuck.

I got dressed put on my brown pumps, felt I looked put together and was ready to go, until my DD Darling Husband says, “Your boots would look better.” So into the closet I slip on my brown boots and out the door across the garage and into the van we go. We drive 20 minutes to church and arrive a lovely 15 minutes early. I take approximately 10 steps towards the church and get a glimpse of the lovely squared toed brown boot on my left foot followed by the rounded toe of the black boot on my right foot. Horrors! I did an about face and spit, “Honey! Look at my feet! I can’t go into church like this!” He said nothing just handed me the keys. I had no choice but to drive back home and change. As I walked through the garage it was painfully clear that the shoes were different heel heights and even sounded different. I am truly a victim of fashion and a complete idiot!