There is a Benjamin Moore store in my barn.

First of all, I want to thank all of you for giving me some great ideas for the dining room chairs.

Paint.

Don't paint.

Paint pastels.

Paint black.

Distress.

DO NOT PAINT!

Cushions, lots and lots of cushions.

Belts.

Quilts.

My favorite was to use duct tape. I would totally do that. And I still might.

But, I really want to thank the two or three people that said I would NOT get this project done. Because nothing motivates me more than when a person says I CAN'T do something......unless I really don't want to do it, then I'm all yeah, not gonna do it.

Clay and I both thought painting the bench was the only way to go. Since we're still being the cheapest people on the planet I didn't want to go buy any paint when there are billions of gallons of Benjamin Moore paint in our barn left from the previous owners. I'm serious, billions, okay maybe it's more like twenty..............million.

Since yesterday the temperature got up to a balmy 70 degrees I decided to go out to the barn and search for a red to use on the bench.

After rummaging through cobweb coated cans and prying them open I found a rusty red and a maroon and decided to put my college color class to good use and mix my own paint. I KNOW! I am so amazing. Amazingly cheap.

So, for zero American dollars I give you the bench.



And I don't like it. I think the color is okay, but it's too dark against the wood floor and the table. It just says blah to me.
See? Blah. So, now I'm going to look at it and think some more. Maybe I'll try a yellow/green....if I can mix my own, which I think I can-can mix my own paint-paint, diddy-diddy bop-bop, diddy-diddy hop-hop.

Oh, sorry, had to break into a little hip hop action there. Nothing makes my children roll their eyes more than when I break into song. A day without singing is a sad day. Especially a day without some opera. Try it. You'll like it. Just sing whatever you are saying. Especially when you're kids' friends come over to play. SING IT!

Now, back to the bench.

What if I paint the yellow/green over this red and then distress it? Huh? What say you?

Oh, and stop telling me to do cushions, because have you seen my children eat? If you have, then you will understand why we can't have fabric on the seats. I'd be posting about how awful the cushions look and then you would be saying....paint the cushions!!!!

I've found the fiber rush to repair the seats online. I think I can do four chairs for around $25 and that's not too bad, right?

I probably won't be painting the table or the chairs. My reasoning is Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and Independence Day.

What? April, please 'splain dis crazy cockamammee nonsense.

You see, I like to decorate my dining room for all those holidays and if I have my table and chairs painted all different pastels then it would look great for Easter, but come Thanksgiving I would want to barf all over the chairs to try to get the pale blue to look good with the pumpkins and maple leaves. That makes sense, right?

Also, I still haven't painted my daughter's furniture, which was my childhood furniture. I've been meaning to do it for 15 years now. So, really, the chances that I will actually paint all the chairs and the table. Har har hahahahaha!

Now, we'll see if I get this done. Go ahead and tell me I won't do it. I dare you. Actually, could you just say a lot of mean things about how I won't get Ellen's furniture painted and how that will make her resent me when she becomes a mother and she'll never let me visit my grandchildren because she had to grow up with with her mother's hand-me down crappy furniture and what kind of a mother treats her only daughter with such neglect?

Yeah, yeah, say all that and let's see if that gets me motivated to paint her furniture. I'm thinking, naaaah.