Wednesday, October 10, 2007

This IS my happy face!

These are things I've actually said to my children.  My children are humans, just so you know, I sometimes have to remind myself.

1. Don't lick me.

2. Is that poop on the floor?

3. What's that smell, is it you or your brother?

4. Stop licking me.

5. You do not spit on the carpet!

6. Why does your room smell like barf?

7. Who cut the hole in the curtain?  Who?

8. I said STOP licking me!

9. Only one person can talk to me at a time?  NO, just one.  OKAY, EVERYONE HUSH!

10. PLEASE!  Stop licking me!

11. Where are your socks?  Where are your shoes?  Where is your backpack?  Where is your brain?  

12. If you don't find your shoes you can't come with me.  No, you may not wear your muddy rubber boots.  No, you may not wear your sister's shoes, or mine, or your dads.

13.  FINE!  Just get your boots and get in the van!

14.  If you lick me one more time I'm gonna....gonna...just please stop licking me, honey.

15. No, I'm not mad, this is just the way I look.  I am not making a mad face, this is just my normal face.  OKAY, NOW I'm mad!  Go AWAY!  AND STOP LICKING ME!!!

8 comments: said...

Send em out to the field, your neighbor must have a salt-lick for the cows. :)

Anonymous said...

I love iloveupstate's solution to the licking! Very funny!!

muddy mama said...

Why do they feel the need to lick things?! I thought my kids were the only ones, but yesterday at the store was a lady begging her kids not to lick the cart. Somehow that made me feel better. ;)

Kathy from NJ said...

I remember when my brother (5-1/2 years younger than me) and then my sister (9 years younger than me) learned to give "doggie kisses." Perhaps you could tell them that you made a cream out of the walnut maggots and rubbed it all over your body.

heather said...

This post cracks me up and leaves me comforted that I am not the only mom to say such things.=)

Stefanie said...

This cracks me up so much. And ya wanna know the sad part? My kid is almost 17 and she STILL licks me, no matter how many times I tell her to stop.

What is it about that???

Michelle said...

O.K. So now I know my kids are normal...or are they? You didn't say where your kids lick you. Mine lick my lips. Why? Do they look dry? Do I look incapable of doing it myself? Do they think I am wearing some flavored Bonnie Bell? I don't know if I will ever figure 'em out.

Anonymous said...

Tell Crunchy thanks for sending readers here - I've sent your stop licking post to a friend who's kids are lickers.....hopefully it will make her laugh - she needs a good one today.