Saturday, March 15, 2008

The tale nearly lost to the blogging world, until I found it.

I found this post unpublished and unfinished and thought it was time to share it with the world.  Because why would I want to keep anything in my life private?  Why?  That would be silly.

Once upon a time there was an illustrious, somewhat young woman with decorating talents that shone so brightly people donned their Sean John sunglasses to catch a glimpse of her handiwork.  Or so she thought.

One day, not so long ago, possibly it was last December, she drove to a ladies tea to decorate a single table in which she had delightfully volunteered her talents.  Oh, she was so eager to show her expertise, she knew there would be mouths agape at the beauty of her table.  In fact she knew her table would be so beautiful that the other measly women with no decorating talents who had volunteered would feel terrible and flee to the nearest restroom stall to cry on the industrial size roll of toilette paper.  

The woman was not a heartless ignoramus so she packed some of her extra, delicate, decorations to help the piddly women that were obviously not within reach of her savvy fair.  

As she drove to the event,  she collected her thoughts for an interview that was sure to follow after her talents were revealed at the ladies tea.  She spoke aloud to the feigned interviewer, ignoring fellow motorists squinting their eyes and raising an eyebrow at her, they were obviously blinded by the glow emitting from her Dodge Caravan.

"Thank you for having me Martha, I've loved your little shows for years.  Sorry about your stint in the slammer, but I must say, you're looking fabulous darling.  I'm so excited to share my talents with you and the world.  I mean it's so easy to be me, really, the talent is just naturally oozing out of my tiny pores on my small delicate frame.  I know.  I'm wonderful.  Thank you.  Oh, yes, you noticed that I'm also stunningly beautiful and my outfit is flawless, I know, again thank you, but really, no need to keep congratulating me on my success as a designer-director-writer-publisher-editor-actress-model-chef, it's really what I was born to do and I wouldn't want the world to miss out on......ME!"

to be continued......


Ann said...

Hmmm, this sounds familiar? Was this the same tea where our beautiful decor only lured two guests to my partner and my table?

april said...

Hi Ann!!! Welcome to my very weird little corner of the world. Yes, I'm afraid this was the same event. I won't be vonluteering my skills next year...nope.

Cynthia said...

Nice header.

That sounds a little kinky...

And weird. But I do like it