Thanks for the memories.
My Thanksgiving was pretty nice. If blowing my nose eight billion times is a nice thing.
I regret that I never had the appropriate medicine. I took Dayquil thirty minutes before I went to bed. I stared out the window long enough that I began hallucinating. Then...then the coyotes started howling. Yes. Coyotes. So that was a fun night. When I went to Rechelle's house all she had was night time cold medicine. I found myself trying not to fall asleep in my mashed potatoes. Shouldn't a doctor's house have a built in pharmacy? You would think.
Thanksgiving dinner doesn't taste as good when your nose is all dupped up.
And that concludes my health update. Moving on.
Remember that time I told you about how I had a cold and took Dayquil right before bed? Remember that? Well, during those hours of darkness I had a lot of time to think. I started to wonder about my future.
What will happen when my kids bring home their spouses for the first holiday get together? How long will it take for us to 'break them in'? Who's gonna say something really stupid? Who's gonna make that person question their decision to marry my kid? Who's gonna start spoutin' politics? What if they don't know what a corn stove is? What if they don't like......laughing? And most importantly, who's gonna fart first?
It ain't gonna be pretty.
And I think it will be me. I will be the crazy-farting-corn stove-politicking-laughing woman that makes my children's spouses beg to celebrate the holiday's in Hawaii or Japan or anywhere that is far enough away from the crazy lady that farts, belches, cooks with corn heat and is digging an underground shelter so the entire family can come live with me and all my canned food when everything goes to pot.
Yes, I think it will be me.
Tonight I'm going to sleep with good memories of my crazy family and I'm looking forward to the future. Yes, I am.
15 comments:
Coyotes always sound like banshees to me. It's amazing how loud they are!
One of the great benefits of getting old, or so I've been told by those in their 90s, is that you can do whatever you want. Whenever you want. Wherever you want. I'm looking forward to being a crazy old lady :)
your definitely sick and on drugs, and can I ever relate!
I think if one of your kids marries one of my kids, we'll be just fine. Your family get-togethers sound like ours.
Thanks for making me laugh,
Kari
I don't think it would be possible for any of your kids to marry someone who doesn't like to laugh. You and Clay found each other somehow and with funny genes from both parents, your kids don't stand a chance of not being funny or at least not appreciating funny. I would love to come to Thanksgiving dinner with your family and Rechelle's. In fact, I'd consider setting up an arranged marriage between one of my kids and one of yours to get a spot at your table and laugh at your antics. Hmmm, how old is Ellen? Caleb's a few years older than her and Josh is a few years younger, I think. Those few years may matter now, but it won't once they're a little older. We'll talk about it then, okay?
Wait, what? I just glanced up above and see Kari had the same idea. How many kids you got again?
My Mom and my Fiance are way to comfortable around each other - they grade each others' toots. I think they do it merely to freak me out.
I think Isabelle will fit in just fine.
When I brought my now-husband home to meet my parents for the first time, he was so nervous, we had to pull over onto the side of the road about three miles from the house so he could vomit. See, I came from your normal average middle class family and I tended to err toward the preppy-ish way in high school and college. What I was bringing home was a long-haired (longer than mine even) tattoo'd Baptist boy (We were Jews). I told him as soon as they met him, they would love him and I was right. Underneath all the hair, he also had a pretty good brain and very respectful personality. My dad was a goner as soon as Brian called him "Sir." And we're all still living happily ever after.
Why did I just feel the need to share all that? I too am hopped up on cold medicine.
I too worry about the same things! Our daughters boyfriend thinks we are strange. We break out in song and dance right at the table. We can't sing or dance. We also have our own language, it's called "Talks with mouth full." No one can understand us unless your a blood link or married for at least 10 years. Add a little booze and everyone has a great time....
WEe hours of the night combined with turkey and bold medicine make for interesting thought processes. :o) I love it.
Had a coyote the other night howling right in the yard.....I had to open the window and scream at it!!
Sorry you are sick....feel better soon.
I just don't think your kids would ever be attracted to someone who didn't see their kooky mom as absolutely delightful. So I don't think you have at thing to worry about.
Naah, they won't go to Hawaii - coming to your house will provide too much great blog fodder to skip out LOL! Isn't that one of the privileges of growing older? The ability to say the heck with it all, I'm being true to myself. I think so, and I plan to embrace it fully.
Then there's the problem with your spouse feeling WAY too comfortable with your family. He embarrasses me all of the time...."That's my dad you're talking to! He doesn't want to know, and if he did want to know, I don't want him to!" You can guess what he loves to tease me about in front of them! Yikes!
Oh it just makes for an interesting life. I can remember the first time I met the Farmer's family. It was Christmas and it was not good. They erupted into a knock down, drag out fight in which a storm door was broken! My mother had been invited to the dinner also. On the way to the car she turned to me and said, "Are you sure you want to continue to date this guy?", translation: this family is crazy.
Well, they're still crazy and they still love to ruin every holiday with a tremendous fight.....but I love the Farmer and we just sit back and watch them perform.
- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
Oh April I think you may have been separated from my family at birth. When someone marries into our family it is culture shock for a bit but soon they learn to just roll their eyes and ignore and we cackle and guffaw away. Oh and fart.
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