Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tid bits

I'm so glad I don't have to stick to topics on this blog. Because uh, my brain tis scrambled.

What should I write about?

I'm too lazy to go take pictures of the bench I brought in from the porch last night. You see, my teeny tiny baby boy has out grown his cute red stool that he sits on at the table and we don't have six chairs, so I thought I'd bring in the bench and use it at the table for my two little boys. But, there is a problem. It smells like cat pee. I know. Everything I own smells like cat pee. My father HATES cats. I'm beginning to smell why.

There is a dead chicken in my front yard........again. It's the little rooster I found on the side of the road. He didn't stay in the coop with the other chickens, so it was just a matter of time. Poor little guy.

Okay, that's it. That's all I have.

What if I did an Ask April post? What the heck would you ask me? Please don't ask me about football, basketball, baseball, volleyball or anything pertaining to a ball.

Ooooh, I just read that Dooce is 5'11" tall!!! I had no idea she was that tall. She looks like a tiny pip squeak, but then again, so do I, right? RIGHT?!

Q: April, what is the first thing you notice about a person?
A: Their height.

See? I could answer questions like that. Easy peasy.

Q: April, when you were young and single what did you find was the most attractive quality in a man?
A: His height.

Q: So were you immediately attracted to your 6'5" husband?
A: Uh, er, um. No.

Q: Why the hell not?
A: Sigh. Because he was goofy looking. And I had a boyfriend. But, I did become good friends with Clay and took him to meet my sister in hopes that they would fall in love because she had a thing for red heads with green eyes.

Q: So did Clay fall for Rechelle when you introduced them?
A: No. The only person that did any falling was me. Clay and I were walking back to my dorm to eat dinner after watching half of a KU basketball game because I was so not interested in sports back then, uh I guess that hasn't changed. Anyway, Clay had noticed that I was bored during the game so he asked me if I wanted to leave and of course I said, "Yes, this is awful." Then he very tentatively asked, "Uh, do you want me to go with you?" I laughed and said, "Well, sure if you don't mind missing the game." We decided to cut across campus to make our walk shorter. Taking the short cut meant walking down a very steep grassy hill that was wet from the recent melted snow. I started down that hill taking tiny little steps and then it was as if I had strapped on a pair of skis. I was slipping and sliding all the while staying on my feet and screaming like someone was attacking me. Clay was at the top trying not to watch, it was painful for him. I finally ended up on my butt in a puddle of water and mud. I felt so stupid, but I was laughing because what else could I do? Then I heard Clay beside me asking if I was okay. He helped me up and then said, "Here, you better hold my hand." And that was his first slick move. He's still very proud of that moment. He had no idea that he'd spend the rest of his life watching me fall, slip, slide and best of all scream. He still holds my hand, but now he laughs at me and then imitates me everytime I fall.

Hey, I kinda like answering these questions. I guess practicing all those interviews with Katie Couric in the bathroom mirror has paid off.


Mama Hen said...

AWWW, so sweet.

Joy said...

Funny! Thanks for sharing!!!

And, yesterday I did a peek into my pantry if you want to check it out...and I know you do! ;)

cndymkr / jean said...

please tell me that the chicken died of natural causes and not because of Preacher.

Rechelle said...

Why are you such a gigantic doofus?

Why did we wear so much Mary Kay make-up in highschool?

Is Drew going to win the all school spelling bee today?

Why are all of my children so brilliant?

Why is it so hellishly cold outside?

Why does my ear hurt?

How come the CD never really believes me when I say I am sick?

Why do people homeschool their children?

Because that is very strange.

I think my hutch looks fine and you know where you can stick it.

Rechelle said...

Oh... One more... What was it like growing up with such a funny, pretty, sweet, creative, clever sister?

Jenni said...

Well I like how this little interview with yourself turned out. What a great story!

Now I have a few more questions for you.
1) Would you look down on me just because I am short? I am only 5'3 3/4" and afraid of how much I will shrink as I get older.
2) Why do people read Dooce? I mean, really. I've tried because 1million imaginary internet people can't be wrong. Right? I still don't like her blog. Not even a little. Maybe they read her blog because she is tall. Ah, that's why no one reads my blog! It isn't because I don't write regularly or well, it's because I'm short!
3) Is Clay's hair more auburn? Because I thought it was brown. Was it more red when he was younger? Danny's has gotten browner as he's gotten older. It used to be quite a bit more red when we started dating. I come from a family of redheads, and I always swore I'd never marry a redhead.

And now, a warning. You probably shouldn't go outside today. It's slicker than snot out, and given your difficulties in staying upright and the distance you would have to fall being so tall, you could get hurt and that could keep you from posting for a while. I need you to post so I can continue avoiding my housework.

Sandy said...

seriously, you're a nut. you must be a BALL of fun. oh, sorry. :) I can totally relate to your distain for balls. unfortunately, my 4 year old is a sports nut, so I'm doomed. I so wanted to take a little girl to ballet, but alas, instead I'm freezing on the ball field in march. Bbbrrrrrrr.

Clay said...

I have a question for Ask April:

Have you ever slipped off of, let's say, a back porch and ended up high sided on your stomach, in a body surfing pose, two steps down screaming your husband's name in a hysterical and frantic tone while your back door neighbor watched in a "what the heck" sort of way while he was fixing his mailbox, you know, the one you ran over? Has that ever happened to you? Just wondering.

Thanks, and I'll take my answer off the air.

Gladys said...

April I feel your pain. My husband will not let me walk anywhere that he isn't following me around like a first time mother and a barely walking toddler. I fell up a mountain last summer. Yeah I'm THAT good!

Kim said...

Wow! My husband used that "hand holding while walking on icy snow" move too and it totally worked! So men, here's a tip: if you like a girl but are too shy to make the first move, take a walk with her during inclement weather. Tip excludes all Florida, Hawaii and Southern California residents; you will have to think up some other creative excuse.

Anonymous said...

Oh April, you just about made me wet myself!! The mental view of you sliding down the hill screaming at the top of your lungs, and Clay looking on, probably trying not to laugh....you just cracked me up!!

Sharon said...

Is Clay secretly writing a tell-all about the missteps of April?

Rechelle said...

Hey April - I didn't want you to be all making your homeschooled kids fast and pray fervently in the corner for Drew in the spelling bee today. He tied for third place... in the entire school... he missed the word recommend. His mother always misspells that word too. So let's review shall we... Calder first place all school spelling bee champ... Ethan second place all school spelling bee Drew third place all school spelling bee. My kids are geniuses. Just please don't ever expect much of them in athletics.

Tina. said...

Too funny!!! Especially your play on words "smell why" hahaha, you crack me up. And next I am going to check out where Jenni is from because I am from PA and most people out of state have never heard the "slicker than snot on a door handle" line!

Andi said...

April you are crazy. That's what I like about you. That, and your love of chickens and lack of athletic ability. I find those 2 factors very important in determining likability!

Renovation Therapy said...

Yay! More goofy "when we first fell...in love" stories please.

HOA Mgr Lady said...

I hate when Rechelle takes all my questions.
Rooth <~~ going back to play with my Jane Austen paperdolls won on your sisters Blog (which I still haven't sent a thank you card in snail mail SIGHHHH)

Rhea said...

Rechelle's comments are hilarious. I think she's trying to take over your blog. Yep.

I love the bit about how you and Clay met. So hilarious and perfect.

Linda said...

So where did Clay take you on your first date? And how did he propose?

Beth said...

You are such fun. Rechelle, too.

Please do share the love with the little people though--I'm shorter than Jenni--I'm 5'2-1/2". And yes, that half matters!

Dawn said...

That is a sweet love story!