Saturday, January 10, 2009

Don't feed it popcorn.

Clay volunteered to record stats for the girls basketball team this year. The coach gave gave him a computer program that he uses during the game. According to Clay, the program is a bit cumbersome, like moving an Army tank through a corn maze.

This is where I come in the picture.

I sit by Clay and tell him which girls are checking in and out of the game so he can click on their names quickly and get back to recording the game. It's good for me to have something to do during the game because,

Me + Sports = Miserable.

So, there I am sitting by my husband on the front row next to the clock dude and the other stats person doing my little duty by leaning close to Clay and listing off the girls coming in and out of the game.

Ellen and Casey in, Becky and Kaley out.
Kirsten in for Tayler.

Hannah in for Brittany.

During half time Clay requested a soda and some popcorn because the man can't go more than a couple hours without something to eat. Unfortunately, he can't really eat or drink during the game because his hands are tied to the computer entering all the plays. But, I can eat and drink just as much as I please.

Do any of you have trouble after you eat popcorn? Just wondering.

I try to stay away from popcorn, far, far away. But, if it's next to me, I eat it. No, I inhale it. I think that's why I have a problem. I eat it so fast I don't allow any of the puffed air to escape until, um, er, uh, after I eat it.

When Clay passed his bag of popcorn to me I started cramming it in my mouth as fast as I could. After a few minutes I leaned over to Clay and said, "Wow, I can already feel this popcorn workin' on my stomach, gimme your soda".

Becky and Anna in, Ellen and Kirsten out.

Gulping soda, cramming popcorn.

Tayler in for Hannah.

More popcorn, more soda.

Ellen and Anna in for Becky and Kirsten.

then it happened....

I performed the loudest Barney Belch in the history of Barney Belches. It was amazing that the refs didn't mistake it for the buzzer.

In the future, for the sake of those around you, let's try to remember;

Please don't feed it popcorn.


Andi said...

Popcorn makes you belch? That is too funny. I inhale my popcorn too. So do my girls. My poor hubby is out of luck.

Stephanie in Idaho said...

Hilarious! Don't feed it popcorn! I had NO idea that IT was going to be YOU!


You crack me up.

Mama DB said...

Oh, I'm laughing. Popcorn??? I have a problem in that I can't shovel it into my mouth fast enough, would rather just strap the bag on and feed but I don't recall it giving me gas. Just annoyance at had bad it sticks in my teeth (and craw).

Kim said...

That one just made me choke on a Now & Later. A Barney Belch - at least I have a new name for big humongous burps. You're lucky you weren't drinking Cherry Coke with it (or maybe you were?) because the loudest burp I've ever been witness to was caused by that soda.

Jennifer said...

oh brother! you must be a hoot in person! i think i woiuld enjoy myself immensly, but i'd always be peeing my pants. really.

Cycle Mom said...

My guys would love you since belching on command is a at my house.


Cycle Mom said...

oops- they would also tell me I left the verb out of that last comment.

Lauri Bernet said...

OH my-I can relate-and isn't it the worst when it happens in public?

Thanks for stopping by my blog by the way. I have never left you a comment & now I am a little embarrassed, because I have been reading your blog since the Barn Party when Dea Birmingham told me about it..... oh well-I think you are so dang funny!! So thanks for all the smiles I have enjoyed-see you around the car line sometime!

Rhea said...

popcorn doesn't usually make me burp. Plenty of other things do though.

Hilarious, April.

Molly said...

Oh April, you are always funny, but you've been on a roll lately. Hilarious!

Southern Gal said...

You are hilar! I thought this story was going to end with you um, pooting after all the popcorn & soda (like you did at the snow cone place! ha!) Belching is so much more socially acceptable :) At least all the soda & popcorn didn't end up making fodder for a post about bodily fluids!!!

BTW, Clay's job must be new, b/c when I played basketball in highschool (um, er, 11 years ago), we only had someone with a PIECE OF PAPER and a PENCIL to record who was in & out, turnovers, rebounds, etc.

Sharon said...

Wow! You are one classy chick!

LadyFi said...

Hilarious! But as my mum always says, "Better out than in!"

Or - in my own words - better out the attic than the basement...

Leila said...

You are too funny!
I'm glad it was just a burp :) Could a been worse.

I listened to the Christmas story and it was lovely. You were right.
Now go watch North and South!

Trisha said...

Hee hee hee! This one made me giggle in anticipation!

Joy said...

Nice. Better a belch than uh... the other end!

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muebles coslada said...

It can't work in reality, that's exactly what I think.