Monday, December 01, 2008

Dead Cow

Remember when I picked up that chicken on the side of the road? Well, it turned our to be a little bantam rooster. The picture I posted is NOT the chicken I picked up. I posted that photo because it's a white chicken I used to have and I couldn't find my camera.

After asking all my kids, "Have you seen my camera?" and having them looking at me like I was doing some African tongue clicking I gave up looking for it. Several days later I found my camera in my oldest son's room during one of my hormone induced rages over how much laundry can one person produce!

IS THAT MY CAMERA?! IS THAT MY CAAAAMRAAAAA?! HAS IT BEEN IN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?! HAS IT?! WHYEEEEEEE?!

He's still alive, but avoiding eye contact with me. But if he ever puts another clean shirt and by clean I mean folded-clean-straight from the dryer shirt into the dirty clothes because he's too lazy to put IT IN A DRAWER....I AM GOING TO RIP ALL THE FLESH FROM HIM AND THEN HOSE HIM DOWN WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem, ahem, whew. Getting that upset over laundry. Who knew it was possible?

Anyway, where was I. Oh right. So, no picture of the new little rooster.

I also can't show you a picture of the dead cow. Although I don't actually think I would have posted a picture of a dead cow. Would I? Well. Maybe. I don't know, because I DIDN'T HAVE MY CAMERA!!!!

Ahem, ahem, phew, this post is really quite liberating.

Okay, back to the cow.

The cow died on top of the hay she was eating. Every time I went to my kitchen sink, which is like every five minutes, I looked out my dining room window.....dead cow. I watched as her legs got stiffer and her belly more bloated and, well she was the dead cow out my window for two days.

When the guy came to pick her up my boys were sitting out on the porch eating apples. When the truck started lifting her up in the air I watch my boys eyes get wide and they froze eating their apples in mid bite.

It's not every day that you get to see a dead cow hoisted twenty feet in the air and slung in the back of a dump truck. That's a sight I won't be forgetting any time soon.

I guess I didn't really need my camera to document that event anyway. But, son, I swear if you touch my camera again and if it ends up in the laundry, I am going to............

22 comments:

Mama DB said...

oh my. Well, I, for one, am glad there wasn't a visual documentation of the event. There are many reasons I'm a city dweller. Dead cows on cranes being one of them.

Linda said...

If it makes you feel any better ... I have a son just like yours when it comes to the laundry thing. It's a wonder I haven't had a stroke over the laundry by now.

Thanks for not posting a photo of the dead cow. They're just so much nicer to look at when they're alive. And guess you won't be getting any eggs out that "chicken".

Renovation Therapy said...

Love. It.

I wasn't always a city girl, I grew up across the street from a big dairy farm. We also didn't have cable. I remember the big excitement one day as we watched the bulldozer dig an enormous hole and push a dead cow into the hole and then bury it. We sat on the roof of our house to watch that. Ahhh...memories...

Egghead said...

Well my father used to drag the dead body of animals down to the end of our long field where the animal graveyard was. Never thought much about it until now but back then that is what people in that area did with their dead creatures.

Mama Hen said...

Ah, farm life... You never know what the day will hold, do you?


And I am right there with you about the laundry. My son will put his COAT in the hamper rather than have to hang it up.

Rhea said...

holy mother of...a dead cow lifted into the air?! That's cool.

Do they know what caused her death?

Leilani Lee said...

So is this a nice little bantam rooster or a nasty one? I can remember getting chased by a bantam rooster when I was a kid.

carsick said...

We didn't need a picture, the one in my mind did it for me.
I have done 15 loads of laundry today and as I type I wonder if I can get the rest done. I thought I had it done and then when in the girls room and looked under the bed. Been a few F Bombs in this house.

April said...

I think he's a pretty sweet little bantam, our other rooster is kicking his little white butt so he doesn't get to go in the coop.

We don't know how the cow died, she was pretty old.

Jenni said...

That is how all boys handle laundry. Just ask my husband. Heck, you can probably ask Clay, but I'm not promising he'll own up.

I've been reading this Fifty Acres and a Poodle book that Rechelle sent me and in it she mentions popping cows who get gas or something. I bet you coulda popped that cow. I bet you wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere nearby when it got popped. My high school history teacher was a former cop and he had some great stories to tell about bloated dead bodies. He said he would stuff Vick's Vapo Rub up his nose to keep from smelling it. That cow must not have been any good if the coyotes or turkey vultures didn't get it.

Melody said...

Do you think he might have my lost camera in his room too??? I have searched my entire house and mine has been lost for MONTHS! after my dd "helped" and put it away. She didn't remember *where* she put it away TO though....so maybe she gave it to your son. Look in his dirty clothes hamper under that nice clean laundry, will you? ;-)

April said...

I totally feel you on the laundry thing! Today I found a dress - on the hanger still - ON THE FLOOR! Wha? Why? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN CHILD OF MINE?! Aahhhhh! I think I will have them read this post to prove to them that I am not the only person in the world who objects to washing CLEAN laundry. Sheesh!

On another note - did you ever read the Dave Barry article from way back about how some ingenious Pacific-coasters removed a dead whale from the beach? Way cooler than a crane, I tell ya! LOL!

~the Other April ;)

Clayvessel said...

Speaking of dead bovines- My darling oldest son is in Ecuador working for a charitable foundation building schools and housing for the desperately poor. He and a German friend went to their first bullfight in Quito and he just wrote about it on his blog. He does a rant too when my tough-as-nails son finds out the whole story. It isn't nice but it is educational.
http://krza.tumblr.com/

Sharon said...

Why not let the cow explode then let the buzzards get her? My dad says that's the way of nature taking care of itself.

barf

Suzanne said...

Well, at least the cow didn't blow up while the kids were watching.

- Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....thanks for the laugh!!!!

Kristina said...

Ok. This is gross and I can't believe I'm going to admit this but here goes. I grew up on a farm with my younger brother. Our neighbors across the road has cattle. One of their cows died and the neighbor dragged it to the side of their driveway for the dead truck to come pick it up (or as my brother calls it -- the Arby's truck! gag) It was tremendously bloated and stiff so, with nothing else to do, we thought we'd go over and throw rocks at it. NOT a good thing to do. Trust me. I don't know how we turned out normal -- I really don't.

April said...

Kristina,
After I'm done laughing at you chucking rocks at the neighbor's dead cow, I'm going to go barf in the toilette at the thought of Arby's roast beef.

annie said...

I'm am glad to know that I am not the only person infuriated by kids who leave clean folded clothes to be "washed" again. Seriously, it's mind boggeling.

Renovation Therapy said...

I want to hear more about throwing rocks at the dead cow. Kids are so morbid & fun!!

The Source said...

YOUR son should marry MY daughter. They can wash their clean, folded laundry over and over and over and live long, happy lives.

DW said...

You NEED to find your camera.

I so wanted to see pictures of that.