Thursday, December 11, 2008

Urine dipped April

We did a little fancy-schmancy-froo-froo-dilly-wap of a hoop-dee-do project last night. I'll try to show you the whole process later gater.

Today's question is; April, why are there two burners missing from your cooktop?

Answer: Because my cat peed on them.

I swear I am drenched in urine everyday. Every single DAY!

I turned on the burner to heat up some water to boil and was accosted by that awful ammonia smell that is known solely as CAT URINE! After the flesh on my face had melted and my nostrils sucked themselves down into my gut to hide I quickly dismantled the stove and washed everything in sight.

You see, I have a cat. Her name is Dixie. She has urinary tract problems if she eats the wrong foods. She's been eating the dog's food for about a week because I kept forgetting to get her 'special' food for her.

Dixie doesn't like to be ignored.

Dixie is no dummy.

She peed on the stove.

SHE PEED ON THE STOVE!!!

So, how does that make you feel? Better about yourself?

This is my job people, I aim to make you look better. Just wait until I tell you about my Ugly Betty hair do and my first ever brow wax from hell. You will look in the mirror with a heart of thankfulness and everyone around you will look so lovely.... unless I'm in the room with my Ugly Betty do and freaky eyebrows.

Okay, now if you'll excuse me I need to go sit in some urine and then maybe I'll get to writing that post about pretzels dipped in urine.... oh no.... that's not right. I mean pretzels dipped in chocolate urine.

Just kiddin', come on.

31 comments:

Heather in MT said...

Oh, good lord! Too funny! And yucky, you crack me up, and you really do make me feel better.

Melody said...

I'b sooooo sowwy (said with a clothes pin on my nose).

I had to put my kitty outside because she was peeing on EVERYTHING! I have a bag full of laundry I keep pretending isn't there, that has cat pee on it. I don't think it will ever come out. Maybe with bleach?

I have a funny (for me, not dh) story about an inside cat I had (he died, poor dear, at the age of 14). Anyway, he was mine before I married my dh, and I'm not sure if he was jealous or what, but everytime he'd get mad he'd pee on Steve's (only Steve's, never mine) side of the bed. He did it about 5 times and then got the boot to the big outdoors..no really, outdoors, not a euphamism for heaven or anything.

It says a lot for my husband's character that the cat died of natural causes at the age of 14!

Good luck with your pee problems!

OH! One more story that I remember now that we are talking about pee: I saw a pair of boys' boxers with the word "Wii" written all over it. I told my kids that the only thing worse than Wii on your underwear was Pooh. Sorry. I'll leave now.

MrsMama said...

Oh NO. But, you're right, I do feel better about my peeing cat.

Hey, I've seen your new hair do and it IS u....tterly lovely. And so's your right eyebrow.

Kim said...

Our outdoor cat must've crawled up in my car's engine one night for warmth (Why do they DO that? This caused a tragedy once at my grandma's house that I'll spare you from, but it scarred me for life)and she must've peed while camping out because the next morning when I turned the car's heater on, I got a very strong and distinctive blast of cat pee smell in my face. No matter what we tried to do to the car after that, even have it professionally cleaned, I still had the ghost of cat pee smell whenever the A/C or heater was turned on. Complete nightmare.

DVM's Wife said...

I swear cat piss is thee worst smell and hardest to get rid of. We donated one our cats sorrowfully to a friend's farm for that reason. She peed on our bed not once , but twice while we were sleeping!!
We have 3 rejects at my husband's clinic that came in to be euthanized for yep, inapropriate urination. My husband is a sucker and saved them from the blue juice. Now we have these fat mousers that roam our clinic's back room, and they use their litter boxes. Go figure. Hope you get your cat figured out. Possibly another vet visit?

Mama Hen said...

Okay April. I am dying. From laughter. I know it must be true, bc no one could make that up.

idreamicanfly said...

You and me and MrsMama! Cat and dog pee seems to be going around. My old dog has a bladder infection. I keep trying to sniff out pee in the house.

You can give her cranberry capsules, which will kick the infection, if you can figure out how to sneak them into a cat. That one's much easier with a dog. And go forth and get her the right food! I guarantee it will be easier than the Great Pee Hunt.

Anonymous said...

Loved your story! Will check my burners when I get home.

I made my husband take the cedar bushes out our front yard. Because everytime the dog brushed against them, it smelled like cat urine. YUCK!

We have three cats (god only knows why), and one of them is now an outside cat. Because she likes my daughter's room, and not to sleep in.

Good luck.

Sharon said...

Even dogs aren't THAT spiteful. Gross!

Rhea said...

I sit in urine daily too. But I don't have a cat, so you win. Your cat sounds evil. My sweet dog would NEVER do something like that.

Donna Boucher said...

well...your cat sure makes my bad cat look better.

Renovation Therapy said...

If you ever invite me over for dinner, I'll pick up take out for us...

DesertHen said...

Oh my gosh...I thought I was the only one with a cat the peed on the stove!! My daughter's cat will pee on anything if he gets his little nose out of joint....he peed on the stove top, the kitchen hand towel ( and my hubby wiped his face with it....rather funny if you ask me, but he didn't think so), peed in the bathtub, on the bathmat, in the bathroom sink,He even peed on the corless phone and it fried it!!He is banished to a kennel now if we are out of the house and at night. Why are cats so vengeful??????

Gladys said...

I had a cat with a UTI. It used to pee on my boyfriends chair. He really hated my bf. Once he decided his job was done with bf chair he started pooping in his shoes. Once I got rid of bf he stopped this behavior. He was a very WISE cat.

Brindi said...

Ummmm....yesterday, I left a comment about how I wish I had your children in my class so I could get homemade soup and bread...after today's story, I think that I've changed my mind. JK!

My 3-yr. old just grew out of that peeing on everything stage. We had to replace the living room rug, two bathroom rugs, and a couch cushion. But I must say, he never peed on the burners.

Linda said...

Obviously you are not alone with the inappropriately peeing cat. I see plenty of us have this problem. If my son leaves a towel crumpled on the bathroom counter, the cat will pee on it. If he folds the towel, no problem, she leaves it alone. If he leaves his laundry on his floor, which seems to be a habit as well, the cat will pee on it. Doesn't matter if it's dirty or clean laundry. Point being ... fold the dang towels and put your laundry away son! Life would be so much nicer ... smelling that is!

Joy said...

Oh, I'm sorry! I woke to a sound in the middle of the night that made me just out of bed in nothing flat - - - - - my dog peeing on my floor by the bed!

ACK!

I feel you pain, but not too much. That's the 2nd time he's peed in the house so I shouldn't whine. But 3:30 in the AM??? Grrrr

Jaclyn Bailey said...

In our house a cat with a peeing problem becomes someone elses problem. Does that make me a cold hearted pet owner?

Lorie said...

I was craving chocolate covered pretzels after seeing the picture...but after a post about cat pee I think I will pass!

Anonymous said...

You owe it to your cat to put her in a crate and give her the food she needs and keep her there till she is well. We did, and now our cat is well again and can roam the house.

Trisha said...

Can I just say . . . . EEEEWWWWWW!

ElleBee said...

Uhm...wow. Have to say that's a new onoe for me. I've heard of cats peeing in odd places when they're upset, but the stove? Wow...

Anonymous said...

The poor cate. Please get her the proper food.

Cindy said...

Oh, my gosh! I had a cat that did that one time to my stove! Just like you I turned on the burner, smelled that awful stench, and knew what he'd done. To this day I can't figure out why he'd urinate on the stove top. (he was neutered and didn't have a bladder infection or anything like that) I had to get new burners and scrub the heck out of the stove with bleach, then I sprayed it with Lysol.

We have another cat now, a female, who had terrible ear infections. I cleaned out her ears and put the medication down in there, and she promptly stalked into my bedroom and peed on my bed. Think she was mad at me?

Beth said...

I think I'd cry openly if I had cat urine on a burner.

But then, I'd cry if I had a cat. (Allergic)

Beth said...

I can get a whole tub at Aldi? Fantabulous! I'm going!

I usually have to buy bags of brokern ones.

Jewel said...

I'm so glad I don't have a cat.

Jenni said...

I think Dixie is begging to be made a true farm cat. Just put her outside and make sure there's some hay bales somewhere for her to burrow down into.

Woolysheep said...

I am not sure if it was in this post or the next one you mentioned a can of Comet used to clean up the cat pee. I thought a heads up on the Comet might be a good thing. Years ago my mother washed a hard plastic suitcase with Comet. One of our male cats fell in LUST with the thing. He started rubbing all over it and meowing and trying to hump the suitcase.

I am not sure what effect Comet has on female cats but if it smells like a female cat in heat that may explain why your cat is peeing on the stove.

You might try another cleanser and see if the problem goes away.

Good luck.

Sasha said...

I feel so much better now!! All I did was a google search for "cat pee on stove" and wow did I ever come up with ALOT of links/posts!!

After reading all the various ways and places that cats have peed, I feel so much better that I am not the only one with this problem.

I have 5 cats. And as many litters. Yes I am very busy taking care of them. Three of my cats are outdoor cats, but they do come inside. They are NOT my problem children!!!

One of my indoor cats is. I know it's him. I have caught him once or twice, so I know it is. He has urinated on my countertop, in bowls left on the table/counters, on plastic bags, on the stovetop (in the burners - what a terrible smell when turned on by unsuspecting humans) and he has defecated in the tub and bathroom sink. Just about everywhere BUT the litterbox.

I have tried different litters. I even have three different types of litter on the go at once. I have tried the litter boxes in all the same place, and in different places. I now have three on one floor and two on the other floor, of my two story house.

Still he insists on doing "his business" everywhere but the litterbox.

I have used bleach and vinegar to clean the spots. It helps for a bit, but he just moves onto the next spot. Eventually he makes his way back to his original favorite spots. I feel as if I am running in circles and he is the puppetmaster.

Frustrated, you bet!!

But he is the sweetest, most affectionate cat I have ever had. He loves to snuggle with me at night, sleeping next to me with his head on me or my pillow. When I watch TV, I have to lift him off of my face so I can see the TV. He still thinks he is kitten-sized!! I can not move anywhere without him following me. It's just when he wonders off by himself that the trouble begins.

I really don't want to put him down. It would break my heart. He gets along great with the other cats. He cuddles with them too.

So what the heck is his problem??

Oh, well, at least I am not alone in this world with this problem. I feel a bit better!!

Good luck to everyone with similar issues!!

Anonymous said...

I was sooo happy to find your post...but after reading every comment I discovered nowhere does it tell me how to get rid of the odour on my stove top! YES! I had a cat pee on my freakin stove as well! And what's worse is...it isn't even MY cat!! aaaargh! Plus it's a male...and for some unknown reason their pee smells EVEN worse!! If that was even possible!! I have solid plates on my stove (hob actually), and I have soaked it with bicarb and vinegar, TWICE! And poured boiling water on top of that...no my one plate shorts! And I put the plates (sans one) on full blast while pouring boiling water on to them...and I still wanna throw up! HELP!!! Please if you know of something that works let me know! My email addy is lady3699@yahoo.com. Thank you!