How you can be a famous blogger, just like me!
I was going back over some of my old posts because, um, well, because I think I'm pretty special.
eye roll, barf, gag, puke
I want to let you in on a few of my secrets, so you can become a world famous blogger, just like me!
1. Start every other sentence with the word Anyway.
2. Use the word So as often as possible.
3. When in doubt..... use...... just throw in ...... and ..... you will be the bestest writer..... on earth.
4. Never correct any of your grammar or edit a post. Editing is lame and overrated.
5. Possessives are for pansies!
6. Throw in a preposition, interjection or conjunction at the end of a sentence or...... just use ........
7. Never ever ever ever admit that grammar is your favorite subject.
8. Avoid mention that you home school. People will start to worry about your kids's's's's's' brains.
9. Did I mention using the words SO and ANYWAY?
10. Above all .... use these.... these.... will bring you fortune....fame.... and fashionable eye wear......
So, any questions?
Anyway, thought that would help some of you.
Now, get out there and blog dahlings like you've never blogged before or after or in or to.......hehe.
21 comments:
Your "Possessives are for pansies!" brings up a question. Actually, I've been thinking it for the past two days, but I'm afraid to blog it in case family reads my blog. Anyway, it's not like I need you to bring something up in order for me to talk about it.
The question is this. Would you tell someone if their tattoo was misspelled? "Your" (possessive)instead of "you're" (contraction of you + are)? See, it is related to the post. Of course I've already decided not to comment on what a stupid tattoo I think it is anyway. It's already done. But they could *add* the apostrophe and "e" in there somewhere. Should I tell? If I don't tell and they don't fix it, what can I take to keep me calm when I'm around said person with misspelled tattoo. It makes me itchy and twitchy and I think I'm going to lose my mind over it. But I feel better now that I've told you since you are a famous blogger and all. It's like saying it loudly without really saying it at all. Best of both worlds. It's better than Post Secret.
I guess I'm well on my way to fame: About 3/4 of those things apply to my blog.
Dear Jenni,
Thanks for your questions. Since I am a famous blogger, you must do exactly as I say.
Give the tattooed person a gift certificate to the local tattoo parlor to add the apostrophe and the e. Just slip it to them in a Christmas card. If that doesn't work then take a Sharpie marker and correct it yourself when they are sleeping.
Good luck and thanks for commenting here on my famous blog.
I am making a very concerted effort to stop using the word "got" in my posts. I noticed that I kept saying...
I got this at...
I got this in the mail...
When I got "whatever"...
It's GOT to go.
Jean
-the other world famous blogger who is nolonger on your damn blogroll...but is only slightly bitter about it.
Wait...apparently I am back on your blogroll.
Glad you *got* that taken care of. LOL
So that's all it takes? Cool....
Anyway, I love reading about homeschooling. But I love waving good-bye to the school bus even more.
But ... I love .....'s! Anyway, I digress. Don't be too tough on yourself, the casual writing style makes us feel like you're (not your) talking to us. That's what I hope for my blog anyway ... anyway, so .... -Sandy
But you sell yourself short - merely making a few grammatical mistakes alone will not make one a famous blogger. Having an interesting life helps - like picking up chickens on the side of the road, doing funny, er, I mean *graceful* dances with your husband and having an awesome sense of humor helps!
Also, blogging about things that nobody else would - like how your pee smells when you eat asparagus or how to poke the inners back into a hen - now THAT is guaranteed to draw some attention. :)
Imagine if you only sat around and read Jane Austin and drank coffee. How boring would that be?
So last night my husband was teasing me ....
(Notice how I started the sentence with "So" & ended with "..." - maybe I'll become a famous commenter. Lord knows I won't ever be a famous blogger b/c I haven't posted in a coon's age...)
Anyway! My husband was teasing me, & all I could think to say was, "You've hurt my feelings three times today!" in an overly dramatic tone. He was like, "awww, I'm sorry. What else did I do that hurt your feelings?" All I could was laugh & say, "I can't remember the other 2 things....it just sounded like an appropriate thing to say!"
See? You affect my everyday life! And oh, we STILL have one more dinner's worth of bierochs in the freezer! I'm sure it will come in handy come January when we start the Damn Ramsey class :)
Can I have your autograph?
Heee Heee He!
So, anyway, I love your blog.
And the sharpie to the tattoo? Priceless. I hope she really does it.
April, I strive to be as famous as you one day. I make regular use of the...these thingies...and umm, I like to use, umm. A lot. Is there hope??
Well, I've got the ... down perfectly. And I never admit to *anything*, let alone home schooling my dogs. So I guess I'm well on my way... or... um...
Well, until now I'd never noticed just how similar our blogging styles are....Cool, huh? Anyways, I think at this rate I'll be a world famous blogger in no time. Hee Hee Hee. Woot!
All you'd have to do is post videos of you and your family and not write a thing and yours would still be one of my favorite blogs out there. Their? They're??? Hee hee hee!
Your blog is so cool to read because it's like we're having a phone conversation, but you're doing all the talking.
So anyway ... you know what I've noticed? I tend to blog a lot more in my head than I actually get on the computer page. By the time I get around to doing a post I tend to censor myself because I'm thinking, my mother-in-law or someone from my home school group might read this and well ... ya know ... I better not write that, or I should change that ... or crap I need to spell and grammar check. :::sigh:::
So I read your blog and think, yeah, that's how I'd do it. But you do it so much better. And world famously too!
My blog post for today started out with 3 "Sos" and an "anyway" and it was only two short paragraphs. I did a little editing to fix that. I write like I talk, which is probably a problem.
Love your blog just as it is.
Anyway...................so..............
I love...............
Grammar is so overrated.
So.......... you mean if I just do all those things...like...those things you said... I'll be a famous blogger? That is like really great. Raking in the big bucks...fortune...fame? That sounds great!
Anyway, why aren't I? I masted that back in like September.
Anyway...or anyhoo, or whatever. I love your blog and I made my mom stop cleaning my counter off so she could watch your Christmas video. I love the way you think.
-Tamra
I hate those pesky errors that pop up in my blog. I blame it on the gremlin that lives in our attic. I blame him for a lot. He seems to mess with the toliet seat a lot, eats the last sweet dessert that my wife was looking forward to all day, and he even places orders for nifty kitchen gadgets.
He's quite the gremlin.
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