Dear Pioneer Woman,
Today I'd like to dedicate my blog entry to you and all your lovely fans that have sifted their way over here from your sight, to Rechelle's sight and then quite amazingly, to my humble abode. I am seriously gobsmacked.
You know how you call yourself P-Dub? Well, I think from now on I'll shorten April Showers to A-Yus. Only thing is, that my little nickname sounds a bit like a proper southern lady yelling at her husband after he's traipsed mud on her beautiful Oriental rug. But, that's okay. Because...because....Oh...I want to be just like you when I grow up! I do! So, A-Yus it is.
Now, I took some photos the other day that I thought you could relate to. You see I have a very special relationship with the bovine creatures in my backyard. I know, so do you! See? Seriously, we could be BFF's now and forever! P-Dub and A-Yus BFF!!
Okay, so here's what I did. I used my cow whisperin' skilz and asked the ladies if they could express some love for you. Remember P-Dub, these girls are what we live for. They are the reason we get out of bed in the morning. You get up just a wee bit earlier than me, but still, I gotta see me some cows everyday or I just don't feel right.
First, I had the girls gather in a circle and say a prayer for your safe return to the ranch. I mean goodness, what would we do without you? And who else would show us those yummy pictures of cowboys in chaps? ....wait! I meant yummy pictures of FOOD, yeah, that's what I meant, yummy FOOD. Amen.
Next, this little gal meekly walked through the crowd to speak to me. Her Mooma taught her to control her emotions and never ever loose control of herself in public. Let's face it, she was homeschooled. But, she just couldn't resist sending you a teeny tiny black tongue kiss. Next to Oprah, YOU are her favorite celebrity. Shhh, don't tell. If you do, she'll have to go back to wearing her denim jumper to the swimmin' hole.
Ah, yes. Then the redhead came up. She laughed really loud, said something about her makeup, the heat and how much she sweats, needing to renovate the pasture, wanting black high heels, feeling that she would be better off in California if only she would have stayed with the crazy bull she had dated back in college...blah, blah, blah. I tell ya Ree, oops, I mean P-Dub, I didn't think she was ever gonna shut-up. Then she complained about the food and wouldn't it be nice to have raw fish once in awhile? She said you'd understand. Whew, I hope so, cuz I was about to poke her in that big eyeball!
This chick came over and sang a few Ethel Merman songs just for you. It was fabulous! But, then she came closer to the camera and blew out a mind numbing belch the likes I've never heard. Oh, I'm sorry Re...P-Dub, it's hard to get quality bovines these days.
And that leaves me to close this post. P-Dub, I am gobsmacked. Seriously. I have lost my chin over the number of folks that have dribbled over here because of you. It's a shame that I'll live the remainder of my life with my chin stuck to the back of my throat, but it's a burden I'm willing to carry.