Wednesday, November 21, 2007

My Daily Scalping

We live in an old house, it was built over 100 years ago.  The foundation is composed of limestone blocks and I love everything about it.  Well, almost everything.  The basement is a bit of a headache.  Literally.  If I weren't six feet tall, the basement wouldn't be a problem.  If I didn't have to go down there to do laundry everyday and get stuff out of the freezer my life would be pure bliss. 


The problem is I whack my head every time I go down there.  I have several head wounds in different stages of healing.  The copper pipe that hangs from the floor beams is adorned with wads of blond hair and bits of flesh.  If I remember to avoid the pipes, then I catch my temple on the corner of the light fixture.  I'm not sure how much more my head can take.

Then there's the aching shoulders and back.  Since I'm wary of hitting my head I scrunch up my shoulders and stoop over the entire time I'm in the basement.  The other day I was being careful to stay stooped over as I bent down to get some chicken out of the freezer, but since I couldn't straighten my body I ended up shutting the freezer door into the side of my face.  It's not a good situation.  One of my new past times is searching my head for a scab to pick.

The upside is I can blame any stupidness I do on my head injuries.  Like yesterday with the whole Doritos-zit-dog poop thing, that was totally a side effect from one of my recent head whackings. 

Okay, I'm off to scalp my head some more, the kids need clean clothes.  The sacrifices I make for my children, they need to be noted.

ps- I'm brining a turkey.  I also brined my counter top, cabinets, floor and refrigerator.  It better be worth it Pioneer Woman.  Oh, and I couldn't find a brining bag, so first I used some weird baking bag.  It broke when I put the turkey in, the turkey slid across the counter and I caught it right before it fell on the floor.  Then I used a white trash bag.  It leaked, everywhere.  Then I used a heavy duty black lawn trash bag.  I have a turkey in a trash bag in my refrigerator and I have several head wounds that I can blame if it turns out bad.

14 comments:

iloveupstate.com said...

Since the freezer and laundry machines are something you use daily, I vote that you move them somewhere/anywhere else. Life's too short to keep whackin' yourself.

april said...

I hear ya Upstate. It's high on my "when we add on I'm gonna...." list along with a master bath.

Grace @ Rose Cottage Lane said...

I hope you don't sustain long-term injuries just from laundry!

We're brining a turkey too - we did one 2 years ago and it was the best turkey ever eaten on the face of earth - ever. This year I'm trying one of those 10 gallon ziploc bags. Hopefully it won't leak.

KellyJean said...

You are 6 ft?!?!? I looooooove you!!! I am 5'11" so I totally relate. My dwarf friends all think it's cool that I never need a step ladder to get anything out of my top cupboards... yeah, watch me try to dig something out from one of the bottom cupboards. I practically have to slither on my belly like a snake.

It could be worse. One of my brothers is 6'10". That is hard. People treat him like a circus freak. Of course, all the tatoos and Harley don't help. You would not believe what he goes through just to drive a car. I have the seat in my SUV all the way back when I drive.

Let us know how the turkey thing turns out. I was going to do it too but I couldn't find a bag. I didn't think to use a trash bag. You are hilarious.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jenni said...

Wow, I guess tall people have their challenges, too. I'm short, but not a good judge of distances and quite clumsy, so I duck when there's a foot clearance overhead. I look ridiculous. At least now I have 3 children taller than me who I can call on to reach things on the top shelves of the cabinets.

We're not hosting Thanksgiving this year, so I'll be trying PW's brining trick on the bird that's been in the deep freeze for a year. I had the bright idea of buying an extra turkey while they were on sale so that I could make it later. I love turkey, but I'm just not that motivated to go through all the work required, especially not after having 35 people over for Thanksgiving at my house. If brining works on that bird, it should make a fresher turkey absolutley fabulous.

Debbie said...

Go to your sewing cache and pad those pipes at the earliest opportunity. It doesn't have to look like Martha Stewart-just functional...or wear a helmet?!

I just don't want you to continue hurting yourself and killing brain cells in the process.

Happy Thanksgiving, April!!

cndymkr said...

You made my day. The whole brining thing was hysterical. We had similar problems with it one year and while it tasted good, it just wasn't good enough to do again. And your poor head. I think maybe the kids should learn to do the laundry? Or does that open the door to a flooded, soapy, low ceilinged basement?
jean

april said...

Debbie, that's a great idea, I think I might get some pipe insulation to wrap around the pipes.

Jean, they actually do help with laundry, but they're not very good at color sorting, so I don't completely trust them yet.....and yes there is the huge possibility of the over flowing washer. And,you know what, Ellen is 5'8" and still growing, so it won't be long until she's whacking her head too.

Cynthia said...

Oh, I love your blog. My laundry is in the basement, too. But I am only 5'5", So I have no head wounds, thank goodness. My problem with the basement is that it is creepy. So in the 10 years we have lived here I have never cleaned it. I don't know if I should admit that but the spiders down there collect social security. UGH, I am getting all quivery just thinking about it. My husband is building me a mud room upstairs. I am very excited to NEVER go in the basement again. (as long as one of the kids are here to go to the freezer for me).

Oh, I am brining my turkey right now, also. I used some generic two gallon zipper bags. The first one sprang a leak and I had a Brine Fountain shooting across the kitchen. I think the second one has a hole also, but I decided that I didn't want to deal with it so I put it in a big bwl and then put the brine in so I wouldn't really see the hole. Lazy cooking, I am all about that!

Cynthia said...

Oh, another thought on laundry. My four oldest kids do there own laundry in a stackable washer and dryer set that we put in their bathroom. So I really can't complain too much about laundry since I only have to do it for my two little ones and my husband and me. My 9 year old has even become obbsessed with doing our laundry. My husband's shirts have looked a wee bit grey since she has started helping, though.

Inkling said...

Oh my goodness, you've got me in stitches. The funny kind, not the head-wound-induced kind. But now I've got to find out about brining a turkey. I just bought mine today, and it's thawing out in a garbage bag inside a bucket with water. I'm having five people over for dinner, and am just praying that it will turn out okay. I've only made turkey by myself one other time, and that was a year ago. The last time I made a related poultry item - a roast chicken - the smoke alarms went off in our basement suite and upstairs where our landlords live. I really don't want to repeat that again, especially since they are the ones coming for dinner. The one thing I keep telling myself is that if it doesn't turn out, I'll just order pizza, and spend the rest of the time reading the story of America's Thanksgiving to our Canadian guests.

The whole idea of getting head wounds every time you do laundry would motivate me to conscript my children into service. But then again, there might be interesting consequences to that idea. I won't begin to imagine....

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

You can brine your turkey in a cooler... since the turkey is frozen when you put it in there -- it keeps every thing cool, just like it would in the fridge. Brine away my friend!!! (Just don't forget your cooler!)

So sorry about the head injuries... that's bad luck.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Sorry about the scab-picking problems but if its any consolation you gave me a good laugh. How'd the turkey turn out?

Jenn said...

Hi there! It's been a while since I hopped over to your blog. The last time I was on here, you were still hoping for your 'someday' home in the country. I am so happy for you! You found it! We're still in the hoping, not looking stage, so I'm a bit envious. Congratulations!