You can't pick your family, but you can pick Hedge Apples.

I took my parents and my sister on a little walk to pick hedge apples when they came to visit last weekend.
Before we went out into the vast wilderness to hunt for a hedge apple tree we employed a couple of super heroes. But, when they heard the word hedge and apple....
They fell down, dead. Poor, poor batmen. I guess this job calls for a bigger, heathier, braver, older and blonder superhero.
Dun-duh-dah-dah! April the strange muscle neck to the rescue!!! I'm able to leap over my tiny parents in a single bound. They really do look up to me! It's not easy being with all the little people. Uh, okay, moving on.

This is my mother. She is a gigantic goofball that has created her own language. It's a good thing I can understand her or on Saturday when she was insisting that we go see the Appalachias we would have been packing for a long journey across many states. Instead I suggested that we stay right here in Kansas and go visit the Alpaca Farm. Mom, repeat after me Al-pack-uh.Okay, Alpa-lay-shuh.
Alpaca, Alpalacia, Appalacia...it's all the same. Right?


This little guy is my dad. He's tiny. Like 5'9" tiny. He hates it when I say how little he is, because despite his small stature he's a big man. I mean look at how he man handles that wagon. He's a brute!
He was very determined to get every hedge apple off the tree. So he shook it. And that's when I wanted to start singing "Shake it like a Polaroid picture...shake it....shake it...." Note: the Country Doctor's wife came along to document the whole thing.
Here she is documenting me documenting her documenting me documenting her.....somebody stop the madness, please.

Back to Dad. Check out that shirt! I know he's tiny, but he's quite hip. He's hip Harry the hedge apple picking man.

When you ask "Why April, WHY?!" These people, they are why. I had to live with them. I can't seem to shake 'em . They keep coming back.
But, that's okay. Everybody needs to be loved by somebody. Right? But, I do wonder sometimes if I was switched at birth.The end.
For more information about hedge apples click here, apparently there is a market for these things.