Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Edna Slaughter

Here it is, finally. The long awaited rooster killing with lots and lots and lots of pictures.

This post is as real as it gets. There are guts, some blood and dismemberment.

You have been warned.

Here the mighty man of valor sharpens his ax in preparation for our first ever chicken slaughter.

The guest of honor, Edna. Named after my grandmother, by mistake. We thought he was just a hen, turned out he was a rooster and a mean one at that. He brought about his demise when he relentlessly attacked the two year old.

Buh-bye Ed!

The woodsman ties Ed's feet from a rope that is suspended from a branch in a tree. He stretches his neck out on a log.

Ed was very calm throughout; we asked him if he had any final words.

Cockadoodle DOOOOOO .....


It was a nice clean cut. We let him hang for about five minutes. A chicken has two nervous systems so they flap around quite a bit after they have been killed. It's weird. Just when you think they are done, they start flapping a bit more. Creepy.

There was not as much blood as we had prepared ourselves for.

The hunters first kill.

We prepared a large pot of boiling water in advance. The mighty-warrior-chicken-killing machine dips his trophy into the pot. The chicken stays in the pot for one minute, that's it, your not cooking him, yet.

Then the chicken is pulled out of the water and the body feathers peel away very easily.

Keep plucking.

Funny, my sons are more interested in the dirty water than their father plucking a chicken.

The tail and wing feathers take a bit more brawn to pluck.

My son gets to play a little tug-o-war with Ed.

All done.
Now, lets go see what's inside of that rooster!

One of us held a book with step by step instructions, while the other tried to comprehend what it all meant.

The feet come off first. Slice the skin around the joint.

No, hon, the joint, move the knife down a bit....

This is where my years of preparing chicken dinners paid off.

Wah-la! A very clean cut.

Looks just like a leg from KFC.

Next, pull out the neck and the gullet. What's a gullet? It's the sack in the chickens throat where the food is stored. We didn't withhold food before killing Ed, and we would come to realize that may not have been a good idea.

Slice the neck and gullet out at the base just inside the body cavity.

Did you get the gullet? We'll soon see.

Okay, this is the yuckiest part. A chicken apparently has an oil gland located right above their um...little fat...uh...butt? No, tail.

See that yellow thing sticking out by the knife blade? That's the, ugh, oil gland. Yick, this just made me sick, it was greasy and well, oily...blech.

Mighty-ferocious-beast-slaughtering man just scooped it right out with his sharp little knife.

That's the neck laying on the board, get your head out of the gutter, this is a family-style slaughter. Do you see the gullet? No? What's does the gullet look like? Hmmmm.

Mighty-beast-stalking-hunter-man prepares to dig out the guts.

If you have done everything correctly then you can slide your hand up into the body cavity and pull out all the organs.

Except Super-human-beast-killing man's hands were to big, so I got the job.

It was all nice and warm and squishy inside there.

Get away from my chicken woman!

No, me! My chicken!

Guts. But, not all of them. Something wasn't coming out.

There was a definite clog up at the neck that wouldn't release the remaining organs.

Ahhh, here's the problem. The gullet. It was still in place. It's the red and yellowish thing being pinched. No, the other red and yellowish thing. What? It all looks red and yellowish? Well, guess you had to be there.

What's inside of it? Let's take a look.

Ed's last meal.

Finally, all the guts. Let's see what we have; the heart is to the left on the pavement. The blob in the middle is the intestines, liver and gizzard and the two blobs to the far right are the, just kidding. I think those are the kidneys.

and a foot

Now we're done with the outside work. Let's step into April's kitchen and wash that bird like crazy under cold water.

Note how yellow the skin is? It's very greasy.

The easiest way to store a fresh kill is to cut it up in pieces and place it in freezer bags.

So, let's get to cutting.

Legs and thigh and the two wings. Look at how dark the meat is.

I saved the feet to pick my teeth with and ward off any evil spirits

Here's the cook. I've only scalped my head on that low hanging cupboard about fifty times in the last two years.

But look, I'm smiling through the pain.

Now, who's up for some chicken?


Mom of All Seasons said...

Unbelievable. That was alternately the most amazing and most disgusting I've seen in quite a while. I don't know if I could have done it.

Robert said...

Sheesh, that was intense!

thehiers said...

Clay, you're my hero. Can I come over and kill a chicken some time?

Andrea R said...

We used to have chickens, I miss it. :( We'd do up 20 at a time. Get the kid with the strongest stomach and smallest hands to clean out the inside.

Also, having done the same thing, you should tell your readers the pics are nothing. It's the *smell* that gets you. :D

jennifer said...

Having watched my dad kill a few pigs and a chicken when I was growing up, I couldn't read the whole post. Ugh. I like chicken. I just don't like to think about the process in between the clucking and the roasting.

Becky Meyers said...

april, that was awesome. how gross and kinda fun at the same time!!

Anonymous said...

Amazing! Good play by play action, April. And I loved the other stories - lots of happy posting!

Crunchy Chicken said...

Wow, that was great! I've never seen a chicken "processed" before. So, now that you've done Ed, are you planning on doing it again?

Also, haven't you people ever heard of rubber gloves? Eww.

Phelan said...

You are braver than I with picture posting.

Good job!

JJRiding said...

April, you are like "Little House on the Prairie" folks. I am really impressed. Kind of like dissecting in biology. Ask Mary Kate and Jenny about their chicken story. Joanie

~*~ Jennifer ~*~ said...

Well -- ya learn something new every day don't you.

THANKS for sharing! Ü

I remember my dad cleaning pheasants... I used to like to see the corn and ROCKS in the gullet.

I wonder why I didn't remember the innards? Plus he would just pull off the skin -- I bet your chicken wasn't as dry as a pheasant can be.

This was a good blog to read while eating breakfast... I cut back a little today. LOL

Mark said...

I had witnessed a poultry beheading and the resultant zombie movement....

But emptying the guts? That was new. I want to throw up myself now.

muebles almeria said...

I believe one and all must look at it.