Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Proof that I am a snob.

1. I ask for my dressing and sauces to be in a small ramiken on the side of my dish. Don't drown your food (remember that commercial?).

2. I am offended when there is only powdered milk products offered to put in my coffee.

3. I've started asking for S. Pellegrino or Perrier Water with a twist of lime. That alone could be the only item on my list here and I would say, "you snob!"

4. I think Iceberg lettuce is some form of man made food product.

5. I won't let my children consume; pop-tarts, juice boxes or any sugary cereal.

6. I don't prepare food from mixes. With exception to mac & cheese.

7. I am disappointed when I have to eat with plastic utensils on a paper plate. I must always have a knife and fork, I eat somewhat like a preying mantis.

8. I wont use a plastic cup if a glass is available and I don't care that you would have to wash it for me.

9. I sneer at people that bring desserts in a foil pan to a party. It's all about presentation. It is not hard to get a pretty tray out and line it with a doily, arrange your store bought assortment of Peppridge Farm cookies in the shape of flowers and garnish with a few sprigs of mint. Now, that wasn't so hard, and don't the cookies look so much prettier and taste better?

10. Coffee or tea is a must with dessert, no exceptions. And you had darn well better have some half & half or 2% milk or I will go to the store and get it for you.

Maybe I'm not so much a snob as I am a food critic. Okay, so never mind.

But, today I thought I was pretty snotty when I found myself in a gas station wanting so much for the coffee choices to not be in a styrofoam cup with a plastic soda lid and the powdered creamer crap was overly abundant. I even went so far as to purchase milk to put in my coffee and ask the cashier if the lid I put on the cup was in fact for coffee. She said "yes". I sulked out, got in the van and continued to be so disappointed that I missed the on ramp to the Interstate.

Okay, I know I'm not the only snob out there. Come on let's hear it.... what little offenses are you thumbing your nose at?

15 comments:

owlhaven said...

I'm a hot dog snob. Give me Falls Brand beef or nothing. And a butter snob-- no margarine for me.

Fun post.

Mary

Katrina said...

I'm a partial snob, I suppose - I'm with you on #1, #2, and #10. And I feel VERY strongly about #2. I refuse to drink coffee somewhere that offers only powdered creamer. :)

melanie said...

You forgot:
#11. If your friends don't serve you the "right" kind of coffee, you will go out and buy them some and make them keep it in their pantry for the next time you come over.

Between you and my mother-in-law, who didn't like being served coffee out of Bryan's old White Castle mugs and brought her own pretty little pink coffee cup over to keep in my pantry too, I have some fancy stuff for anyone else I entertain.

About the rest of it, I'm so not with you on this one. I love plastic wear and and my favorite "butter" comes in a brown Country Crock container.

Chaos-Jamie said...

Lemonade.

Do those people really think lemonade can be made from powder? Where are the lemons in that?

Butter.

If I didn't come from the skimmings of milk, keep it.

And yes, creamer for my coffee, but the coffee better be a very dark roast. No maxwell House for me.

mj said...

Ok. I hate to agree with you, but you are a snob. I agree with you on powdered creamer, so when 1/2 & 1/2 isn't available, I drink my coffee black. Paper plates are the center of my world for lunch (and occasionally dinner). I love nice tea/coffee cups, but when getting caffeine into my body is the objective, I can put up with the styrofoam.

Jessie said...

I agree about coffee. I like it strong and tasty - no cheap stuff. It is the pinacle of my day - it must be in some sort of mug that makes me happy, depending on my mood (mexican senorita or french provence) and no powdered creamer. I also only use butter. And I only use name brand cleaning agents - from dish soap to human soap to laundry soap. Maybe I have an unusually dirty family, but I don't feel like anything else actually works. I'm kind of a clothing snob, too, but that is mainly because I think that there is a huge quality difference. I am kind of a snob on lots of things, I will stop now, and maybe piggyback my own post on this...or maybe I shouldn't reveal my refined tastes to such a degree!

Anonymous said...

Hi Honey,
It's so nice to have you and your beautiful children visiting this week. I will come home and serve you a nice dinner on my fine china and let you rest because you work so hard. I love you dear. Mom

Anonymous said...

Hi Honey,
It's so nice to have you and your beautiful children visiting this week. I will come home and serve you a nice dinner on my fine china and let you rest because you work so hard. I love you dear. Mom

melanie said...

Ahhhh, what a mom!

Abby said...

I'm a little late on this one, but I LOVE it! And you know I have confessed my own snobbery many a time. Definitely a coffee snob- though coffee fixins don't apply to me (which is my excuse for being so snotty, I can taste the coffee part really well)- definitely a butter snob, definitely a clothes snob (again, I agree that quality must be considered). I don't mind iceberg lettuce, but I cannot abide bagged salads. And I too will bring good coffee for next time if I know it will happen again- like to my mother-in-law (also have taken her real butter because she gets "smart balance" whatever that is!)

Abby said...

I'm a little late on this one, but I LOVE it! And you know I have confessed my own snobbery many a time. Definitely a coffee snob- though coffee fixins don't apply to me (which is my excuse for being so snotty, I can taste the coffee part really well)- definitely a butter snob, definitely a clothes snob (again, I agree that quality must be considered). I don't mind iceberg lettuce, but I cannot abide bagged salads. And I too will bring good coffee for next time if I know it will happen again- like to my mother-in-law (also have taken her real butter because she gets "smart balance" whatever that is!)

Abby said...

sorry i posted that twice, i just thought it was really important! just kidding, i don't know what happened. whoops!

bernadette said...

Elitism - it's a good thing!

We only use cloth napkins.

Keep your eye on the road! ;~)

Everyday Mommy said...

You are not a snob. You are a Foodie of the highest order. It is group distinguised by good taste.

Food that comes in a box should not be consumed. Sour cream cannot be fat-free. It's very nature demands that it be fatty. Food and the word instant should not appear in the same sentence.

Welcome to the club. We are honored to have you.

Signed,
A Fellow Foodie

Rachel said...

I just happened on your blog--went to Barlow, then his wife, then read her post and clicked on your name and I have to just say----

I LOVE POWDERED CREAMER!

I prefer it over regular half and half. Maybe it is the white trash in me screaming to come out, I have no clue.

I remember when I was not into drinking English teas. I like them now, but I was a little offended when I invited my book club ladies to discuss a book at my house. She apparently was a tea snob because when I told her I only had coffee or Celestial Seasonings after asking what my "tea selection" was, she declined completely and said, "I'll just have some coffee." She sort of made a little snob noise. I can't explain it any other way.

I am sick of half and half, really. My husband puts it in his cereal. He encourages the kids to as well. I got sucked in for a bit but then I realized that the danger is there under that rich flavor. I prefer to be thin.