Monday, June 12, 2006

Good Lord It's Monday!

Today I walked four miles. Golly that felt good! Then I came home with a somewhat swirling headache, puked in the kitchen trash, told the kids to call Dad to come home and went to bed. Am I that weak? Yes. I also didn't think I could tolerate the septic tank guy coming and trying to nicely write him a check and smell

Head throbbing, throbbing to the popping, popping sound of the well going out.

Yes, Clay came home and learned how to deal with Septic-Tank-Pumping-Man, he got a lecture about cleaning out the filter, Septic-Tank-Man did not say, "Thanks Dear."

He also played very loudly in the basement with Well-Pump-Going-Pop-Man. I was upstairs still realing from my second visit to the Holy Porcelain God while listening to them go on about how old the well pump was. Isaac and Levi joined in the fun by banging on something metal.

Oh, and no I'm not pregnant.

So now that everyone is asleep, I'm feeling much better thankyou. Do I want to look around the house to see how they survived the day? No. Because then I would want to wake all the angels up and ask, "Why? Why? Why do you have to take all the cushions off the couch and move them to another room to build a fort? Why do you have to spread peanut butter and jelly on every surface in the kitchen? Why do I feel like you are having a party in my absence?"

Needless to say, I gotta a lot of work to do tomorrow and it's gonna start out with a lecture and end up with a tidy house. (insert sound of whip lashing here) The warden is back and the inmates are gonna pay, oooooh their gonna pay. And no big blue eyes batting at me are gonna make me back down, no siree.

In Other News:

Okay, now about my New Lifestyle. Some things I've noticed since I've started eating really healthy.
1. No zits. Just a couple teeny tiny ones that cleared up in a day. The demon zits that rise up from the burning depths of hell have been exorcised. I have nothing to pick.

2. Never ever a need for a laxative. Whoa! Add a bunch of fiber to your diet and you better have a good book to read, cause you'll finish it in a day. No wonder we've had the septic tank pumped twice in three months.

3. Less irritable during my "I want to pummel all that is precious to me" time of the month.

4. Weight loss. I can wear everything in my closet, no actually some things are too big!

Is it worth it.....mostly, but I could sure go for some Milk Duds.


Do hens crow? I don't think so. We think Edna, our favorite chicken named after my dearly departed grandma, is actually Ed.

I only ordered hens. How did we get a rooster? Pure luck. She, I mean he is so cool. I just hope she, I mean he doesn't get mean. We're going to keep calling him Edna, cuz my grandma used to tell a great story about a rooster eating all the corn and Grandma Edna could crow.


I'm disappointed in the performance so far. I can't figure out peas, I harvested four. Come on! How hard can this be! I think my big success this year is going to be pumpkins. Yipee, I won't have to spend any money in October. But, really cucumbers, tomatoes please give me something, just one measly salad.

NO TV in June:

This is no TV month. Good Lord what have I done? It's like we are all coming off of a drug addiction. The chaos of cleaning up after kids that acutally play with their toys instead of sit comatose in front a a screen, priceless. By the end of the month non of us miss it. We've done this for at least five years.

sidenote: The kids got to watch a movie today via their dad cuz Mom was out of order and Dad had playdates with Septic-Man and Well-Pump-Man. Oh, and he had to bring his actual work home to save me. He's my hero.


melanie said...

I love the no "TV for June" thing. We're doing it too. Thanks for the idea!

april said...

Your welcome! I'm so glad I can influence the masses. I am the all powerful April.