Monday, August 25, 2008

Good Morning!

Dear God in Heaven,

Thank you for the exceedingly nice weather you have sent us this August.  I really am thankful....but, but, but

Well, you see the nice weather let us open up the house and shut off the A/C and now it's sorta chilly so we shut off the fans too.  It's really nice.....but, but, but

It's 4:00 in the freaking morning and one of the roosters has decided to start CROWING!!!  Which means the dog has to start BARKING!  Throw in a couple of cat fights and that puts me here on the computer writing a personal complaint to You the Almighty Creator of all things farm animalish!

I mean, seriously.  Is this a joke?  Did I mention I'm not a full blown farmer ....yet?  I have no need to get up this early.  I really like to sleep.  In my bed.  At 4:00 in the FREAKING MORNING!!!

Oh Lord, you are a funny God, because as I'm writing this thinking I'm so cool I can complain and get away with it, BOTH OF THE ROOSTERS ARE CROWING THEIR EVER LOVIN' RED BEAKS OFF!!

Okay, I get it.  I can not control the actions of my animals.  Thanks for the reminder.  Now, do you think just maybe you might could turn the volume down a bit?

Thanks and Amen

PS- Would you please miraculously heal my poison ivy before I take the bulb sander to it?


Living on the Spit said...

I know you must be a bleary eyed gal today and I am sorry, but this was friggin' halarious and I can not stop laughing at this post. It may make me laugh all day which is what I need because I already know my day will be really busy and may out me in a really bad mod...after reading this I feel I have ammunition for my day.

Dinah in Indiana said...

April - I love your blog and head to your site every morning to see what's up at your farm. My son gets poison ivy very easily and very badly and we have found that Rhuli Gel works wonders with the itching and healing. We get it at the local CVS.

Rechelle said...

What in Tarnation is a bulb sander?

Peggy said...

I think the Almighty understands our frustrations, especially when presented in such a funny way.

I don't live on the farm anymore for the animals to wake up. But our city has recycling pickup and at 5:30 am, it's hard for me to remember that this is a good thing. They throw one bottle or can at a time into their sorting truck. AND my neighbor has a lot of beer cans.

Beth said...

Go to Wal-Phart and get some Zanfel. It cures the ivy in one application. My husband used to live on steroids in the summer to survive the ivy. Now we just stock up on Zanfel. It is expensive - $40 for a small tube, but worth every penny. My only recommendation for the roosters is Duck tape!


Orghlaith said...

If you are still wondering if God has a sense of humor, think about Australia. Not only did he make the field mice into REALLY big specimins, and create a bird/fish/mammal called a platypus; He planted a huge red rock smack in the middle of nowhere just cause He could. And maybe to confuse the scientist who think they can figure everything out. Now that is darn funny.

Clayvessel said...

Does your rooster ever park under your bedroom window to do his 4am crowing? Whenever ours escapes the coop he makes a point of seeking out our window. How does he know it's our window? How? Why do we even have a dang rooster? Why?
We did use him recently -tethered him to a tree as bait for the raccoon that was terrorizing the flock. He lost his tail feathers. Sweet revenge? His crowing got distinctly more subtle after that.

Rhea said...

Can you get those sleep mask thingys for the roosters? That just covers their eyes?

Kitty Bo said...

I am so sorry about your poison ivy. I hate it. I moved to Indiana from Tx. to remarry and was horrified at how HUGE the poison ivy was up north. My youngest was 3 at the time, riding his tricycle, and fell head first into a monster vine of it. Amazingly, he didn't get it, I suspect because it was his first exposure. Something that used to help me was large doses of vit. C taken throughout the day.
As to roosters, all the more reason not to have them. Our chicken house was down the hill, which helped, but we got rid of all the big nerds--er, roosters. Roosters are a waste of time. Our last one to survive was a little mille fleur banty. On the day he died, he still managed to flog me.
And barking dogs, our blue heeler (now deceased) and bc/X used to like to party on full moon nights. One night, I got fed up, took my dressage whip out and applied a whap here and a whap there, and that was the end of barking.

a bite of country cupcakes said...

Funny..Life never's perfect!
From one farmer gal to another..I too need to sleep!
At least at 4 am!!!

Nikki said...

And are there trains nearby as well?

Phelan said...

odd, this didn't come through my feed like your other posts. I just wanted to say that rooster don't tend to crow for no reason. OUrs talk to the neighbors roosters, but more times than not, if you're hearing drowing before the dawn, they are warning somethng off. You might have something prowling around your coop.