Friday, February 17, 2006

Learning to recognize my demons

I had a minor, no, major explosion at my 4-year old yesterday that involved chucking a cowboy boot at his head (that part was an accident), but he was so shocked and horrified at the way my voice had turned into something straight out of "The Exorcist" that he didn't notice the bonk with the boot. Later, after loving apologies he said, "Mom, you were really scary when you were telling me to get my shoes on."

My hormonal cycle seems to get a little more hyper with every child I've had. Before the giant mood swing sets in I usually get the hint that the time is coming by the choice of snacks I buy. I pick out the sickest, sweetest crap one can find on the Wal-Mart shelf. Like, red frosted brownies or off brand pecan sandy cookies. I mean it is just gross.

Yesterday, when we walked into Wal-Mart, Isaac said, "Hey Mom, how bout donuts?" Well, of course you can have a donut (mostly because I wanted 8 or 9 of them, and because I did whack him with a boot). So in the parking lot I dug out my foot long bavarian cream coconut encrusted donut and thought, this is so disgustingly good! I could feel the sugar calming my need to pummel everything precious in my life.

I also bought two bags of Cheetos. I ate half a bag last night and just polished off the rest for lunch and started on the second after swiping it out of my unsuspecting daughter's hands. So, now that the roof of my mouth is all shredded up from the Cheetos I think I'll go find some nice soft chocolate, or maybe the can of frosting in the fridge to soothe my inner demons.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, April, you are so funny. My hormones are worse after each baby, too. Half the time I can't even stand to eat at the same table with my crew during the hormonal time because the chewing just about does me in. And, I think that my hormones that control crying are permanently out of whack. Now I cry at the drop of a hat. It scares me, actually, because I used to use this to diagnose pregancy, but it just doesn't work that way anymore. *Sigh.* Oh, and I need sugar, too. I'm just an absolute hog around then. That and wine/beer/gin and tonic. Oh yes. Happy, happy liquid therapy. :) -- annie

Anonymous said...

Oh, April, you are so funny. My hormones are worse after each baby, too. Half the time I can't even stand to eat at the same table with my crew during the hormonal time because the chewing just about does me in. And, I think that my hormones that control crying are permanently out of whack. Now I cry at the drop of a hat. It scares me, actually, because I used to use this to diagnose pregancy, but it just doesn't work that way anymore. *Sigh.* Oh, and I need sugar, too. I'm just an absolute hog around then. That and wine/beer/gin and tonic. Oh yes. Happy, happy liquid therapy. :) -- annie

Anonymous said...

sorry that I posted twice -- I'm computer challenged. :) -- annie :)

april said...

Thanks Annie, good to know there will be other children that can join my kid's support group for "kids with mom's that went whacky for no apparent reason once a month" when they're older.

Anonymous said...

April, Thanks for some great laughs! I got your blog page off of Jessie's blog. I'll be reading yours regularly now - I can use some laughs. Hope y'all are doing well. Stephanie McKinney

Jessie said...

Whoa April! I almost thought I was at the wrong webpage! Nice new design..I love what you've done with the place (or what Clay has done?)!

melanie said...

Cool page design!!

VintageRed said...

So far, the sure-fire demon-soother for me has been a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby. No other flavor quite does it. And, yes, you have to eat the whole pint.