Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Tis Was My Boithday

Yesterday, I, gulp, um, had my 38th birthday.  Funny thing is I've been telling people I'm 38 for the past year.  You see, the dealy-hoo is, Clay is six months older than me, but I always think we're the same age, so when he turns a year older...bam... so do I.  It's makes sense in my head.

Anyway, I thought it might be time for me to start making some sort of list.  I hate lists.  I make lists and then loose them.  Where's my list?  Usually my lists only have a few items on them, but if I loose the list I will forget those crucial items and that is why the dog is eating cat food.

So, okay here's a partial list I want to accomplish before the big FOUR OH my gosh I can't believe I'm going to be 40, hah, did you get that?  Four Oh my gosh?  Huh?  Anyway.....

1. Stop using the words So and Anyway to start and end every sentence that I write.

2. Remember that there is not a day that my boys DO NOT pee on the toilet seat and I must check it every single time.

3. Run a mini marathon.  Puhlease, the hilarity of this list is astonishing.

4. Read every single book of the Bible.  I never finish the Read Through the Bible in  a Year thing and I'd like to do that.

5. Buy my own potter's wheel.

6. Be completely debt free with 6 months living expenses saved.  I know, I know, you all are getting tired of my finance harping.

7. Take another ballroom dance class with Clay.

8. Finish the dining room walls.  Again, the hilarity.

9. Learn to can.  Can to learn.  Can-can can you do the can-can?

10. Take the Master Gardener's classes.

11. Become involved in some sort of community volunteer program.

12. Take my kids to the ocean where I'll be terrified and thankful I live in a landlocked area.

13.  Raise a couple pigs.  Mmmmm bacon. 
 "Did I just eat that or just spread it all over my face?"  
"Dear Bacon,  Thank You!  Sincerely, Water Chestnut III"

13. Start to care about football since I'll have a boy playing the game.  Sweet Jesus, help me.

14. Teach my boys the names of all bedding.  This is a flat sheet.  This is a fitted sheet.  This is a mattress cover.  This is the mattress.   Please only bring your SHEETS to the laundry.  Take your mattress back to your room.

15. Teach my boys how to make a bed properly.  This is a mattress, this is a fitted sheet....

16.  Have Rrrrrramone and Virginia over for dinner...become their favorite neighbors ever!

17. Okay, here it is, the one you've all been waiting for....loose 15-20 pounds.  Ugh.

18. Buy new bedding for the master bedroom.  The twin size quilt that Mam-ma made over the down comforter, not so much love for that look.  No.

19. Paint the kids' rooms.

20. Take down wallpaper in upstairs bathroom and

21. paint upstairs bathroom.  That is definitely worth two numbers.  Right?

22. Teach my daughter how to drive.  Lord God in Heaven please......

23. Get Ike in violin lessons.

24. Start a bee hive.

25. Overcome fear that I will die of bee stings.

26. Convince Clay that he wants to be completely in charge of the bee hive and that I should never go near it.

27. Teach my children that a closed door means you knock before entering.

28. Put locks on the bathroom doors..... for the sake of guests.

29. Put lock on bedroom door.....for God's sake.

30. Let the world know my linguistic skills and show how beautiful I am in the morning......

The End...for now.


annie said...

ok, this is starting to feel weird, I have now commented 3 times in 2 days. Anyhoo, the "please take your mattress back to your room." comment will have me laughing/crying for at least the next 37 hours. Little boys are soooo strange.

Angie said...

Happy belated birthday! That's funny about your age mixup...I, on the other hand, have had in my mind for awhile that I'd be turning 38 in June. It just dawned on me that I AM 38. I'll be 39 in June. How did that happen?

About #13 on your list...I'll be praying for you during this difficult time. The second #13, that is. The one about football, not the one about pigs.

cndymkr / jean said...


Coffee Bean said...

hApPy bIrThDaY!

You are so goofy. I love it!

Okay. So. I am 41, therefore your elder. My youngest child is also older than your oldest child. That is what happens when... well, actually, nevermind about all that.

Couple of comments.

I've survived teaching two girls to drive. We are about to let our 15 yos get his driver's permit. I may not survive that one.

My son started playing football when he was ten. I still do not understand it. I go to all of his games and I only watch him through the zoom lense of my camera. I have absolutely no clue as to what is going on. I do know that a first down is the first time someone falls down.

Your list was so dang long that I forgot what else I wanted to comment on. I am too lazy today to go back and read it again. It was long.

Oh, you look fabulous.

Becky said...

Happy Belated Birthday! And just remember, you are still a "30-something" until the last second of your 39th year. ;-)

Rechelle said...

Um... okay... so since I forgot to say Happy Birthday but I got you your present a couple months ago everything is okay right??? RIGHT???

I love you Lirpy - Happy Birthday!

Your EVEN OLDER sister - Rechelle

carol ~ i throw like a girl said...

I knew you had to be having a birthday one of these days since we all know what month it is! Hope you had a very happy birthday. My son's bday is in April so I can say it is a very good month! Birthday Hugs!

Anonymous said...

So, anyway...HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I'll be 38 this fall. I think I'm going to be 38 for a few years.

Cynthia said...

I love the vidoe. THe whiny, "Hey, give ti back!" Cracked me up.

Oh, Your list is waaaay too long. Do like this:
1. clean sink in kitchen
2. vacuum family room rug

Whew, glad I got all that done.
This week.

Cynthia said...

Okay, I need to add a number 3.

3. Learn to type and quit stinking up April's blog with your typos,Cynthia.


Jenni said...

Wow, that could have been filmed at my house. In fact, now I'm wondering if you and your dd filmed this as a mockumentary of my life. And I'm also wondering how since you don't really know me. Where are the hidden cameras?

Abby said...

i love that you want to have a bee hive. george does too. have you ever noticed the big old bee hives out the windows at charlotte and mr. collins' house in the BBC P&P? george wants that kind. i doubt we will ever have them, but i can totally see you doing it. very cool! oh, and happy birthday!

Rechelle said...

You forgot to say "stop being so bossy" and also to tell my sister more often how beautiful and smart she is and how I wish I could be more like her and how I need to hope and pray with all my might that my kids someday turn out as good as hers have.

Crunchy Chicken said...

Happy birthday, you old fart.

BTW, what exactly is a "mini marathon"? Is that actually a 5K?

Oh, yeah... you forgot:

#31. Shave my head for charity.

jennifer h said...

Happy birthday, youngster.

Holly said...

I turned 39 in January and totally understand how weird it is to know, in my head, that that's the right age when really, it just doesn't seem possible. Didn't I just graduate from college? Wasn't it just last year that I celebrated my 30th bday with a bunch of friends?

Um, nope. Somehow I managed graduate from high school over 20 years ago. What is up with that?

Karen Deborah said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Wait until you hit the FIVE OH now that is a dooozie. If you deicde to remove wall paper I will pray for you. My kitchen is i a current state of disaster. Finish all sentences? Can you just put a period at the end of a thought? Football? I watch the superbowl, that's enough. I had two brothers, they still don't know what sheets are. Same to brothers peed on the back of the walls when they missed the toilet seat so the toilet seat ain't so bad!

Karen Deborah said...

PS don't buy a potters wheel first. The essential piece of equipment is a kiln. I got a potters wheel years ago. I made stuff and it sat around until I chucked it. You gotta fire it. You can start with hand building because pottery making requires really strong hands. That scene on "Ghost" was real Hollywood, that wouldn't happen. One wrong move and the whole thing goes whop whop.

PlanningQueen said...

I am so with you on point 2. I don't know how they can manage to ne so consistently inaccurate.

Nancy said...

About #13 (the first one)...raise pigs. Honey, please don't. They're nasty. How do I know this? Because we raised pigs and by the time I was 4 years old I was helping clean out the pig pens. And, the bacon that you get from your own pigs is no where near as good as what you get in the store. And, it's referred to as side meat. Doesn't that sound lovely? Side meat. Just buy your bacon at the store.

Coffee Bean said...

Was never blog again on that list? I keep checkin'... yeah, yeah you've got four kids, you homeschool, you've got a big ole house you are workin' on. I know, but throw us a bone every coupla days!

Rechelle said...

April - Today was NOT your birthday! You birthday was like SEVEN days ago! HELLO!!! Time for anew post! Good Grief!

Here let me give you a few ideas to write about
1. How wonderful your sister is
2. How well behaved you nephews are
3. Seventeen ways you wish you could be more like your big sister
4. Twenty five things your sister did when you were growing up that made her seem like a superstar to you
5. All the ways I inspire you
6. Why you wish you were me and I was you.
7.How I have helped you to be a better person
8.I think you get the idea
9. Just trying to help out.
10. Aren't you glad you helped me start a blog?


Your Big Sister