Tis Was My Boithday

Yesterday, I, gulp, um, had my 38th birthday.  Funny thing is I've been telling people I'm 38 for the past year.  You see, the dealy-hoo is, Clay is six months older than me, but I always think we're the same age, so when he turns a year older...bam... so do I.  It's makes sense in my head.

Anyway, I thought it might be time for me to start making some sort of list.  I hate lists.  I make lists and then loose them.  Where's my list?  Usually my lists only have a few items on them, but if I loose the list I will forget those crucial items and that is why the dog is eating cat food.

So, okay here's a partial list I want to accomplish before the big FOUR OH my gosh I can't believe I'm going to be 40, hah, did you get that?  Four Oh my gosh?  Huh?  Anyway.....

1. Stop using the words So and Anyway to start and end every sentence that I write.

2. Remember that there is not a day that my boys DO NOT pee on the toilet seat and I must check it every single time.

3. Run a mini marathon.  Puhlease, the hilarity of this list is astonishing.

4. Read every single book of the Bible.  I never finish the Read Through the Bible in  a Year thing and I'd like to do that.

5. Buy my own potter's wheel.

6. Be completely debt free with 6 months living expenses saved.  I know, I know, you all are getting tired of my finance harping.

7. Take another ballroom dance class with Clay.

8. Finish the dining room walls.  Again, the hilarity.

9. Learn to can.  Can to learn.  Can-can can you do the can-can?

10. Take the Master Gardener's classes.

11. Become involved in some sort of community volunteer program.

12. Take my kids to the ocean where I'll be terrified and thankful I live in a landlocked area.

13.  Raise a couple pigs.  Mmmmm bacon. 

 "Did I just eat that or just spread it all over my face?"  

"Dear Bacon,  Thank You!  Sincerely, Water Chestnut III"

13. Start to care about football since I'll have a boy playing the game.  Sweet Jesus, help me.

14. Teach my boys the names of all bedding.  This is a flat sheet.  This is a fitted sheet.  This is a mattress cover.  This is the mattress.   Please only bring your SHEETS to the laundry.  Take your mattress back to your room.

15. Teach my boys how to make a bed properly.  This is a mattress, this is a fitted sheet....

16.  Have Rrrrrramone and Virginia over for dinner...become their favorite neighbors ever!

17. Okay, here it is, the one you've all been waiting for....loose 15-20 pounds.  Ugh.

18. Buy new bedding for the master bedroom.  The twin size quilt that Mam-ma made over the down comforter, not so much love for that look.  No.

19. Paint the kids' rooms.

20. Take down wallpaper in upstairs bathroom and

21. paint upstairs bathroom.  That is definitely worth two numbers.  Right?

22. Teach my daughter how to drive.  Lord God in Heaven please......

23. Get Ike in violin lessons.

24. Start a bee hive.

25. Overcome fear that I will die of bee stings.

26. Convince Clay that he wants to be completely in charge of the bee hive and that I should never go near it.

27. Teach my children that a closed door means you knock before entering.

28. Put locks on the bathroom doors..... for the sake of guests.

29. Put lock on bedroom door.....for God's sake.

30. Let the world know my linguistic skills and show how beautiful I am in the morning......

The End...for now.