Thursday, April 24, 2008

Peanut Butter and Asparagus and Wine

So, so, so, so, what have I got?  Hmmm, oh, I wanted to warn everyone that is allergic to peanuts not to touch my kitchen counter top lest you die.  Because my sons use peanut butter to polish the counter everyday and sometimes I just let it happen, yep I do.

We eat the natural peanut butter.  I buy Smuckers.  I love it.  My kids don't know  they don't love it....until last week, in desperation, I bought some cheap peanut butter from Aldi and I stuck my finger in it and then put that great big glop of sugary crap in my mouth and nearly was so sweet.  Also, my kids ate it so fast I didn't have to put the lid back on.  Now they want THAT peanut butter.  I told them NO, you will eat the oily gunk and like it.  And they do.

Our asparagus patch is up and running.  Dear God in Heaven THANK YOU!  I can pick a stalk and eat it raw in the garden it is amazing!  But, there's  a draw back, you know, the whole urine smell thing.  When I use the bathroom I have to  plug my nose, because if you think eating store bought asparagus makes your urine smell bad, well, let me tell you, eating it raw in the garden will make you wretch and fall off the pot and possibly die. 

Oh, I'm planning on serving my asparagus at a wine tasting party next weekend.  Those poor folks, there in for a dilly-whopper of a surprise. 

Now, how about you all leave me a comment and tell me what you would want to eat at a wine tasting party?  Because I have a few ideas but I keep having little panic attacks at 3:00 in the morning that I'm the only person that will like pears with Wensleydale cheese, asparagus with a drizzle of balsamic vingarette, bleu cheese buttons with tart cherries, herb rubbed flank steak on a Rosemary biscuit and what else?  Maybe that spicy shrimp that is so popular now?   Or how about P-Dubs goat cheese logs rolled in dill?  Yes?  No?  What have I gotten myself into?  Why did I say I would do this?  Do you think I could just bring one of those gigantic plastic trays from Sam's with all the veggies and fruit and toss in a few Ritz crackers?  Oh, wait, no, we don't have a Sam's here.  Help.   Please give me some ideas.  And if any of you say buffalo wings or fried cheese sticks or anything with ranch dressing  I'll send a leaking bag of my asparagus pee in the mail to you, for free!


Becky said...

I've been to a couple of these and I like it when things are kept simple...especially if you are REALLY there to taste various wines. A sampling of cheeses (I loved baked brie with fresh berries on the side). Carr's biscuits for cheese (they have a nice party assortment package). Fresh fruit - grapes, various seasonal berries, etc. Heck, even a nice fondue setup with a cheese based dip and a chocolate based dip with fruit and pound cake.

If it has to be a dinner party, then I think something light and springy. Spring lamp chops with a nice risotto and your asparagus would be tasty. I like your pears and cheese about a Waldorf salad but sub pears instead of apples and add bleu cheese crumbles? Mmm mmm! And I love finger food type a nice tray of fruit tartletts, lemon bars, brownies, blondies or some other summer picnic fav. OK. Now I'm totally starving. LOL

Cynthia said...

I've never been to a wine tasting party. I'm not sure what to serve.

Ask me what to serve with milk!

Karen Deborah said...

ROFLOL stinky pee.Yep its true! My girlfriend broild the asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil and balsalmic vinegar, salt and pepper. Delish.
Everything you mentioned sounds good. After you have tasted some wine it won't matter, have plenty of bread and cheeses. Sounds so wonderful.

Natalie said...

A friend of mine used to have one of these every spring and fall and I always helped out. Yes you need fruit and cheese and some summer sausage. Some pate or bratwurst/liverwurst or boudin is also needed. Some bread - a baquette, a focacia with some dipping oils or pestos is a good idea, if you can find some kalamata olive bread or a jalapeno cheese chiabata those would be good too. Several types of olives in bowls - kalamata, stuffed with garlic, stuffed with almonds, herb marinated. When we had goat cheese available it NEVER got finished off. Gueyre, havarti, brie (plain and herbed), camembert, swiss, a real cheddar, a wedge of high quality parmesan-type, port salut. A good mix of soft cheese, firm cheese and hard cheese. Only fresh fruit - apples, pears, melon, strawberries, grapes. The meats are important since there are some wines that only taste good with meat. A pound of keilbasa cut into slices and maybe a pound of some venison/pork smoked sausage sliced too, maybe some salami. DO NOT USE THOSE LITTLE SMOKIES!! DO NOT USE THOSE LITTLE WEDGES OF LAUGHING COW CHEESE!!
Good luck and have fun!

Natalie said...

Save all the aparagus for yourself!! I used to have a 25 ft long bed of it and my friends still talk about being invited to graze it with me - 10 years later. DH subsequently plowed it under in the process of making his 30'x40' workshop 5 years ago.

April said...

Great ideas!

Natalie I'm crying for you. I sure hope that workshop was worth it.

Rechelle said...

Something wrapped in phyllo that is chhesy and bread crumby, cold pasta salad with better than average ingredients, Quesadillas make good finger food, you could put something interesting in them. TIny sandwiches on great bread with a smoked salmon spread and fresh strawberries served with chocolate and a sweetened cream cheese.

There - I figured that out for you Is there ANYTHING else I can do!?!?!

Now as to the asparagus pee - April Dawn!!! You are so a Heitschmidt!!!

MrsMama said...

Check out this link:

Then you too can impress your guests with proper wine tasting vocabulary like, "pedestrian", "flabby" and "barnyardy".

You realize I can never have you over for dinner now. ;)

Jenni said...

I was going to say fresh fruit and cheese. I like pears paired with cheese, and apple slices are great with chedar. Brie goes great with a berry compote (or whatever that berry thing is called) spooned over top. Everything you mentioned sounds delicious.

I buy either the Smuckers or the Walmart brand natural peanut butter. It is so much better than whatever natural peanut butter my grandmother always bought and never stirred properly. I've been buying it since my 17yo was only a 3yo. My kids thought Jif and Skippy were just for making marguerites and other such confections. It was confectioner's peanut butter. Then 17yods' friend came to live with us for about a month and he wanted to be helpful and contribute. He brought white bread and Jif and Welch's squeezable grape jelly into the house and things have never been the same. I still think Jif for anything but dessert is just too sweet and white bread and Welch's jelly are just nasty, but the kids firmly believe heaven's pantry will be solidly stocked with these items and I am a mean mommy for not fulfilling their desire for these items on earth. 11yodd sometimes walks through the house chanting "Squeezable jelly, squeezable jelly" as though she believes the power of positive thinking will cause it to materialize in front of her.

Nancy said...

I've got no finger food ideas for ya but to cover up the stinky pee, you might want to have a candle burning in the bathroom that evening. And some air freshner available. Oh, wait. Those two mixed might cause a flaming loo!

Jori from NE said...


Karen Deborah said...

better check out Noble Pig before you have your little hooten nanny.

cndymkr / jean said...

Go read She does amazing things with wine and food. I go for the food recipes but I'm sure she would be happy to make some suggestions.

Crunchy Chicken said...

cheese (esp. Cave aged gruyere)
apple slices
olives, cornichon pickles (but nothing garlicky)

In other words, nothing too pungent or cloying on the mouth. If you are close to a Whole Foods, go and ask the cheesemonger for some recommendations.

Oh yeah, and I prefer my pee sample shipped in a mason jar.

Coffee Bean said...

What you have planned sounds absolutely wonderful!

I once pulled an entire stalk of asparagus out of my daughter's butt when she was still in a diaper. I was at a friend's and the end of it was sticking out of her little poo hole (she was 2) I didn't know what it was so I pinched it with the wipe and pulled. My friend didn't care... all she wanted to know was how on earth I got my kids to eat asparagus.

And you are most welcome for that little story.

Anonymous said...

Sweet potato puree laced with thyme ala Andrea Immer Robinson. These are amazing, particularly with a really good chardonnay or a pinot noir.