Thursday, February 28, 2008

My Mug

Do you know what living in Misery, ooops, I mean Missouri did to me?
It made me fat.
























and then eight months later......














it made me stupid.
Like deer stuck in the headlights stupid.


Actually, the first photo was my Non-Driver ID because I refused to get a Missouri driver's license until my Kansas license expired.  I had just had a gigantic elephant baby cut out of my belly four weeks before I posed for the 'wear all the make-up I own to mask the fact I was fatilicious' picture, or should I call it the 'frosty beige' photo.

The second one where I look um, look, um, what do I look like?  Who makes that face?  And where is my hair?  I'm sporting a lock, just a lock, on the side of my face, my big bug-eyed face.   

I had just watched an episode of Oprah where photographers were giving tips on how to pose for a great photo.  So, I thought, GREAT, I'm going to use some of those tips when I get my license photo done.  I opened my eyes, pushed my face a bit forward and upward and wah-dee-la....deer in headlights.

Thanks for that Oprah.  Anytime Clay needs a good laugh he looks at my license.

I got pulled over for speeding a couple weeks ago and I had to hand the officer my stupid picture.  He must have felt sorry for me, because he lowered the fine.  

I'll be saying goodbye and good riddance to that license soon.  I'm not going to use any photo tips this time.

10 comments:

MrsMama said...

April, you look like Julia Roberts in your second photo!

In Kansas you go something like 7 years between driver's licenses so my last was taken when I was 9 months pregnant - I thought it would never expire! :P

Stephanie said...

...What a brave woman you are...I believe everyone has a horrible, awful, really really bad licence picture...but we never show them

hope4grace said...

Actually I think you look hot!

Karla (Grace) said...

I have never had a bad license photo. I just pose as if I'm in a studio having my picture taken.

Natalie said...

I just renewed my license today and I had to get my picture taken for the first time in 12 years. Well, actually I've had my picture taken quite often in the past 12 years but not for my drivers license. I made sure to do my hair fabulous and wear the right shade of lipstick and a cute pair of earrings. Giselle said that I looked even nicer than my picture from 12 years ago (and that was a realllly good picture since I was only 30 at the time).

Your second picture resembles a mug shot of one of those crazy women that get pulled over for having their kid unbuckled in the backseat while the 12 pack of beer is buckled into the front seat.

I have some friends who were born and raised in Hohumbia, Misery (Columbia Missouri) but they wised up and left the state for college and never went back.

cndymkr / jean said...

Ok, I see that everyone else is glossing over the fact that you were pulled over and given a ticket. Bad girl. Great, now I sound like my mother. Thanks.

Lori Shaffer said...

Missouri didn't make you stupid...OPRAH made you stupid!!

And Missouri only made you fat 'cause it made you want to procreate! Go ahead, get pregnant in Kansas and see what happens...

Jenni said...

LOL at that second photo! You should see my current license. The lady told me to step in front of the screen. I quickly stepped and looked up and FLASH! No warning before she took the photo. I think I have that Oprah deer in the headlights look.

Vonda said...

Oh how I admire anyone who wishes to save an animal even if the fist going down the throat almost finishes off the pet. Here we have my nephew trying to revive a dead frog we found in our pool with a little CPR. At least he didn't give it mouth to mouth....could have come up with frog lips.

http://fuzisisters4.blogspot.com/2008/02/frog-cpr.html

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