Do you know what living in Misery, ooops, I mean Missouri did to me?
It made me fat.
and then eight months later......
Like deer stuck in the headlights stupid.
Actually, the first photo was my Non-Driver ID because I refused to get a Missouri driver's license until my Kansas license expired. I had just had a gigantic elephant baby cut out of my belly four weeks before I posed for the 'wear all the make-up I own to mask the fact I was fatilicious' picture, or should I call it the 'frosty beige' photo.
The second one where I look um, look, um, what do I look like? Who makes that face? And where is my hair? I'm sporting a lock, just a lock, on the side of my face, my big bug-eyed face.
I had just watched an episode of Oprah where photographers were giving tips on how to pose for a great photo. So, I thought, GREAT, I'm going to use some of those tips when I get my license photo done. I opened my eyes, pushed my face a bit forward and upward and wah-dee-la....deer in headlights.
Thanks for that Oprah. Anytime Clay needs a good laugh he looks at my license.
I got pulled over for speeding a couple weeks ago and I had to hand the officer my stupid picture. He must have felt sorry for me, because he lowered the fine.
I'll be saying goodbye and good riddance to that license soon. I'm not going to use any photo tips this time.