Professional help would be nice in times like these.

0.5 Sometimes you just have to number things.

1. I've been told to explain to you, again, that I have no desire to learn how to use electronic gadgetry.

1.5. But that's obvious, isn't it?

2. That doesn't stop me from pushing buttons.

3. Blog headers are overrated.

4. I don't know how to design my own blog header and I tried, see that awesome picture with the awesome font up there at the tippy-top of my blog?

 

4.5. Get your bifocals.

5. People that know how to design blog headers speak a different language.  I say, "I want this" and they say, "It can't be done"  and that doesn't make sense to me, at all.

6. I've said for years that my art needs to be 3D.  That's why I wanted to be an Industrial Designer and NOT a Graphic Designer.

7. I hate scrapbooking.

7.5. I would have more friends if I enjoyed scrapbooking.

8. I also hate stamping and card making and the inner workings of a camera.

9. One of my good friends has made me go shopping with her to pick out card making supplies.

9.5. I wanted to poke my eyes out and pull her out of the store by the hair, whip her around my head a few times and fling her like a discus across the parking lot.  

9.55. Instead I went and bought silk flowers for a floral arrangement.

10. Flower arrangements qualify as 3D art.

11. I don't know many women that like the same things as I do.

11.5. Like pottery.

11.55. And metal art.

11.555. And pulling weeds in the rain.

11.5555. Or reading books written in the 20's and 50's about women that enjoyed gardening.

11.55555. But that's okay, right?

Rare Sighting

Wanna know sumthin scary that happened? It doesn't happen very often, in fact just about never. It's so rare that if I didn't record it here on my blog for the whole world to see, I wouldn't believe it actually happened.

The dog even got in on the episode. I'm telling you, it was creepy. And yes, the Christmas quilts are still being used on the beds. Because like my 6yo says, "If there's snow on the ground then it's still Christmas!" Oh, if only I had that optimistic view of winter.

These here eyeballs, they witnessed the whole thing. Ready? Brace yourself, it's scary, rare and may never be recorded on this blog again.

This kid..... he's sleeping....on the couch. And not just this kid....

This one too. This never, ever, not, never, no, nope, happens.

And what's better is that minutes earlier I was wedged in that teensy weensy spot between Ike's head and Levi's butt. I know. It was tight. I should win some sort of contortionist award for getting out of there without pulling a muscle or waking them up.

What the heck am I supposed to do in a quiet house?

Muhaw-haw-haw-haw. I could think of a thing or two. And guess what?

I didn't get interrupted with a bazillion questions and I didn't have to listen to this one prattling on for hours and hours narrating his every move for us to hear. "Mom, Mom, MOM! I'm sitting at the table coloring on a piece of paper, paper, paper, la, la, la, color, color, color...." or like now, he's sitting behind me on my chair while I type playing with a cell phone that I have to occasionally hold and say, "Yes, Hello, please stop calling me, I'm busy!" to satisfy him. Good Lord, thank you for that tiny moment of peace and serenity.

Gee Oh Duck

I've read a couple of Betty MacDonald's autobiographical accounts of her life in the Pacific Northwest.  In both books she mentions hunting for geoducks and how delightful it was when her family successfully got one after hours of digging.  What?  Digging for hours?  Huh?  

What the heck is a geoduck?  And yes I'm pronouncing it gee-oh-duck the entire time I'm reading about them.

I took a nap yesterday thinking about geoducks.  They held on to the siphon or neck?  Neck?  I dreamt about digging in the sand for this wonderful creature and how happy I'd be to take it home and cook it up for my family, just like Betty.

When I awoke from my nap I decided I had to go Google geoduck to see what they are.

I don't want to hunt for geoducks anymore, or eat them, or dream about them.  No thanks.

How incredibly accurate the man in the following video is when he refers to people from Kansas.

You Pacific Northwesterners are brave, brave, brave and a tiny bit crazy people.

3 Feet Under - Digging Deep for the Geoduck (trailer)

how we corrupt our friends

When our friends from Missouri came to visit last weekend, the weather was cold and miserable, which meant we were left to our own devices. Here are a couple examples of how we entertained ourselves. 

Remember back in December when we were all trying to perfect the latest dance moves? No? Well, maybe this will remind you.





Play close attention as my friend concentrates so intently on her moves that the safety of her child changes from 'do no harm to the child' to a competitive desire to wipe out any potential contenders of her spotlight.

And that incredibly obnoxious person laughing in the background.....I have no idea who she is, but would someone please tell her to be quiet.