Professional help would be nice in times like these.

0.5 Sometimes you just have to number things.

1. I've been told to explain to you, again, that I have no desire to learn how to use electronic gadgetry.

1.5. But that's obvious, isn't it?

2. That doesn't stop me from pushing buttons.

3. Blog headers are overrated.

4. I don't know how to design my own blog header and I tried, see that awesome picture with the awesome font up there at the tippy-top of my blog?

 

4.5. Get your bifocals.

5. People that know how to design blog headers speak a different language.  I say, "I want this" and they say, "It can't be done"  and that doesn't make sense to me, at all.

6. I've said for years that my art needs to be 3D.  That's why I wanted to be an Industrial Designer and NOT a Graphic Designer.

7. I hate scrapbooking.

7.5. I would have more friends if I enjoyed scrapbooking.

8. I also hate stamping and card making and the inner workings of a camera.

9. One of my good friends has made me go shopping with her to pick out card making supplies.

9.5. I wanted to poke my eyes out and pull her out of the store by the hair, whip her around my head a few times and fling her like a discus across the parking lot.  

9.55. Instead I went and bought silk flowers for a floral arrangement.

10. Flower arrangements qualify as 3D art.

11. I don't know many women that like the same things as I do.

11.5. Like pottery.

11.55. And metal art.

11.555. And pulling weeds in the rain.

11.5555. Or reading books written in the 20's and 50's about women that enjoyed gardening.

11.55555. But that's okay, right?

Pottery, Metal Works and Poultry

Time for a pottery class update. Calm down, I know, it's exciting. Okay, I'm gonna need everyone to just sit down and take deep breaths, because you are about to behold some of the most excruciatingly awesome pots ever made.

Here my priceless gems are sitting on the rack covered in glaze and waiting to be gently lowered into a kiln to be fired. See the one in front that is sort of bowlish-spittoonish? That was probably my nicest piece, note I said was. Ike dropped it on the way out of the studio when I went to pick up my finished pieces. Poor guy, he was so distraught. Lesson: do not take children with you to pick up your pottery.

Ink pot and Wobbly Bowl...I know, cute eh?
Ellen claimed these bowls for herself, she's really likes the ink pot, I think it's just the right size for earrings.

Superman and Strange-Squished-Bottom Spittoon

This is Seth's favorite.... but, the Superman belongs to Ike.


Flower pot and Syrup Pitcher
Ike got dibs on the pitcher.

Disaster. This piece I spun right off the wheel while I was learning how to trim, but I made it into "Art". I think it will be stored under the kitchen cabinet with a rusty Brillo pad in it.

I have lots and lots and lots more that I made, so many that I don't reamember what most of them look like. But, alas they are not quite finished or I can't find them on the pottery shelf with the other student's work.

And in other news....

These sweet fence finials I bought at the Gypsy caravan. Look at those forms. Aren't they lovely?

Maybe someday, I'll have a garden gate that I can adorn.

Chickens adorning TBLDBT.

Third Pottery Class

I made these two things in my third class. The big bowl was made with five pounds of Clay, I mean clay...the mud stuff, not my husband. I used a different wheel and it had a profound effect on me. I also, think I throw better with larger amounts of Clay, I mean clay...the mud stuff, not my husband.

I jumped the gun a bit and put a handle on my batter bowl, cuz I thought I knew so much about pottery, but it turns out I didn't apply it correctly and most likely my handle will fall off when it's fired in the kiln. That will make me very sad.

I call this my batter bowl and big-honkin bowl

I've learned that you can't get attached to anything you make...because it will break. I broke my first pot last week when I was learning how to trim. Trimming occurs when your piece has dried to a leather hard stage, you put in on the wheel and use tools to take off the extra Clay, uh I mean, clay...the mud stuff not my husband. My teacher told me I was very good at trimming during the throwing stage, that's when you shape the mud stuff on the wheel, so maybe I'll not learn how to trim and just do all my finish work on the wheel. But, then how will I become the greatest potter in the world? Maybe I'll be the greatest non-trimming potter in the world.

I need a new term for clay.....the mud stuff, not my husband. How about wet earthen material and I'll shorten it to wem. Okay? From now on when I speak of pottery and clay it will be wem.

First Pottery Class

For those of you who were just dying to see my pottery, I give you my first masterpieces. I know what you're thinking, they are beyond words. I'll learn how to glaze tomorrow night, so all these pieces you see will be even more beautiful and you all will be rendered speechless.

Let's see let's call these spittoon 1, spittoon 2, and not quite a vase.

And this one I almost spun off into my neighbors wheel, but I saved it and then pinched the top to make it look like a pitcher instead of the mistake, uh, I mean, I meant to do that, it was my plan all along, it's art you know, it doesn't have to be perfect, uh, I mean, it's perfect.
Look at those things in the background. I think I'm doing okay. And no, I'm not going to admit that a child made those, lets just pretend that everything you see is made by adults.
So here is my pitcher and spittoon 3. And to the mom who gets to display the ashtray with finger holes and ashtray blob there in the background, God bless you.

Oh, by the way, Mom, Rechelle, Dad, Clay and other unsuspecting relatives reading this blog.... Merry Christmas!

Clay Pots

Since my beloved is named Clay I feel really stupid saying things like;

-I need more Clay.
-I have Clay all over my hands.
-Close your eyes and feel the Clay.
-My Clay is dry.
-How much Clay should I use?
-Do you prefer red Clay?
-I made an arch with my Clay.

But, I guess if I'm going to be the next greatest potter in the world then I'll just have to learn to love two Clays and not feel weird about it.

Total pots that resemble spittoons made to date: 3
Other things that could hold a bunch of flowers, but shouldn't be described as a vase: 7

I can throw a pot.

Last night was my first pottery class. It made me happy. I came home and googled a bunch of videos and watched how other people throw and that's when I came across the three minute teapot. I'll be making vases, ashtrays, pencil holders and q-tip holders for awhile, but someday I'm going to bring home a teapot. Yep.