Does this wreath make my butt look big?

I'm trying to decorate my house for the fall. I thought I had tons and tons of fall decorations. But, I don't. For some reason having painted our previous house in fall colors (reds, golds, pumpkin) it always looked great in the fall, then spring would come and I'd be saying, "Who picked these colors? For crying out loud where are the pastels?!" Well, now we have the pastels and I'm thinking, "Didn't my house used to look great in the fall with all those decorations I had? Where are the decorations?"

Okay, this is where I need your help. Since we are still all Dave Ramsey intense and not spending money on anything we don't NEED or WANT, I can't justify running out and buying cute little autumn plates to put in this plate rack, even though that is a HUGE temptation. I took down the white plates I had up and was desperately looking for something and this is what I came up with.

A fake wreath with fake berries. I know, the whole fake thing, but honestly I'm always drawn to this stuff. It's an addiction, I need treatment.
Look, another fake wreath on the door. Is this too many fake floral wreath things in one space? Do these wreaths make my butt look fat? What do you think?
How about a couple photos in there? I have an awesome friend coming to my house next weekend to take photos of our family and I will buy new frames to put some of them in, so maybe a few different sized photo frames in fall colors???? Lose the wreath? No photos? Beg Mom to buy me cute plates? Let's move on to the opposite wall.
Here's my hutch, or at least the bottom half of it. We had to store the top piece in our basement because we don't have a wall large enough without an opening to have the entire hutch upstairs. But, I don't miss it because it's nice to use as a buffet or a gigantic retrospective in fake stuff extraordinaire. Actually, the big pumpkins are the real deal, my compost pile produced them this year. After I was done bedecking the hutch I stood back and wondered what other crap could I pile on there?
Here's some ribbon. PILE IT ON APRIL! Let's get GAUDY!! Where's the GLITTER?!!
Okay, I couldn't take it all. I simplified a bit. How's this? Which do you like better? The full glitz or the tame yet fake fruit display or for heaven's sake just leave it alone!
A small note about the candle sticks. These were my mother-in-laws which were her mother's which were her aunts. So, restating these were Clay's mother's mother's aunt's candlesticks. I think they are some sort of sought after glass collector's thing. I love them and try to use them all the time.
Well, what do you think? Keep it? Try something else? Don't go into the decorating business? Stay away from Hobby Lobby? Do you care?

slow on the uptake

Hey, Readers.

I added the little followers thingy over there on the right. That's pretty neat, huh? If you want to add your link to the followers thing, I'll update it. I like that a lot better than the blogroll. I'm not sure if you have to have blogger for that or not, because, uh, I'm a bit slow on the learnin' the blog techno-schmecno stuff.
***edited to add*** I think you have to click on the button over there and add yourself...I think, this is all new to me.
I have a couple of things I need to admit to you all.

1. I check all your blogs when you leave a comment, but I am a terrible commenter. I'm sorry, I just am. Mostly because I get nervous about what I'm saying. I KNOW! I have no problem here in my own little piece of blogosphere. What can I say? I'm like that in real life too. I'm much more comfortable at home than in somebody's house. It takes a while for the real April to come out.

2. Because I check all your blogs, I have been startled more than once. It's the music. I'll click on a very nice link, the blog comes up, I start reading and then WHAT THE HECK!!! Some music blasts out of my computer and scares the bajeezus out of me. It's not that I don't like the music, it's just that I'm totally not expecting any sound to come out of my computer unless I'm watching videos. The other day I went to a blog, and dadgum I can't remember what it was, but I loved her music selections so much that I carried my laptop to the kitchen and kept reloading the page so I could listen to the music over and over and over while I cleaned. I don't know if there is an option to shut off the music or not, but my heart can't take much more. Please inform me if I'm doing something wrong and don't take the music off your blogs, especially if your the one lady that I liked so much. I will find you again and listen to you music.

Okay, meeting adjourned.

This Little Girl

She's 15

She still asks for hugs.

She has an amazing grace about her. Especially on the court. I've been very blessed with her, she's made me very proud. Because, she also has a very good sense of...

humor. I can't tell you how hard she laughed when she saw this photo of herself. And doesn't the ability to laugh at the silly things you do make you a better person? Yes, I think so. She's better. But, not so graceful on that balance beam.

This was last year on her 14th birthday.

My, how time flies when you're having fun. I love you Belly Button.

The Big Squeeze 3

There are a might few of ye that know ye stuff aboot that apple pressin' thar. Oh, sorry, I'm watching a little Scottish film while I'm writing and I read a might lot of James Herriot today.

Ahem, anyway. Yes, The Big Squeeze was an apple cider pressing party. The hosts have been throwing this party for 34 years. That's a lot of pressing cider.


This is the pulp of the apples. One of the neighbors stopped by and scooped it into feed bags to use for bating the deer. I wanted to take it home to compost and feed to Daisy and Tulip, but I wasn't quick enough.
The washed apples are poured out onto this wire mesh to be checked for worms or seriously yucky spots. These folks get to sit around and visit while they peel apples.
This is the press. The fellow with the white shirt is Steve, he's the host. He and his wife bought the press in 1972 at an auction for $50. The farmer selling it thought it was a wine press, but they knew better. Even though $50 was not chump change in 1972, I think the little guy has paid for himself by now, I meant the press, not Steve.

While the adults had fun with the apple press the kids found a multitude of things to do.

And very pretty mommies pushed very cute toddlers on swings.

And more people picked more apples.
One extremely overcome lady walked around and took photos of everything, gathering material for her blog. Uh?

After the apples were picked they were dumped in this old tub. I KNOW!! How freakin' cute is that?! Would someone please put an old bath tub in my yard so I can give things a bath...outside. Can you imagine how much I would use this? Hello? Clay? I really need this to make our farm complete. And a cow. And meat chickens. And a couple turkeys. And bee hives. And a bigger garden. And, and, and, Hon, I'm talking to you. Hello?
Oh, sorry. Back to The Big Squeeze. Everybody got a chance to taste the apples.

And to make a vintage T-shirt. This sultry one was from 2005. I was tempted to get this one, but I didn't.
I didn't get this one either.
Because, this one was too cute to pass up. Goodness.
Here's the guys working hard, pressing on. Pressing on, hahahaha.
We came home with two jugs of the most delicious cider and we gulped it down. Yum, yum. What a fun day. I hope I can crash it again next year.....and I seriously want an old apple press now, then my farm would be complete? Clay? We need an apple press, that's the last thing, I promise. Clay? Clay? CLAY!

The Big Squeeze 2

Speaking of Craponastick, there was a lot of stick action at The Big Squeeze, but not one bit of it was crap.

Look, here's an old man with a stick.....
Boots on a stick....
Corn tucked in a tree on a stick....
Cute boys playing by a big honkin' stick....
Playhouse made out of gigantic sticks....
Dog wishing she had a stick.... but absolutely no crap on a stick.
This was my favorite, the tricycle with flowers. I mean, come on, how stinkin' cute is that? These folks have lived on their homestead for 24 years and in that time they have been able to paint their personality on nearly every spot of the three acres they own.


Clever, very clever. And cute. And clever. And cute.
Does this screened porch make you want to say, "I'll pour the tea, darlin', you pass the biscuits".
One more thing as I drag out the posting on The Big Squeeze, which I promise I'll reveal tomorrow, maybe. This is James and John. Son and Dad. They asked me to take their picture together and then I wrote my web address on James' hand in permanent marker because he wanted some pictures of the event. So, here's one for you guys, great photo of you both, I must say.

Big Squeeze One

On Saturday we were delighted to get an invitation to a party in the country called 'The Big Squeeze'.

But, first we got lost and were trapped in the middle of the old west. There were cowboys and Indians and

gates and
airplanes. Well, okay, maybe not the old west. But, someone sure does like to play with the metal.
This is my friend Kelli. She is the reason we GOT to go to the party in the first place. We didn't actually receive an invitation from the party throwers themselves, but Kelli knows how much I adore country stuff so she asked if it was okay if we crashed the party. Isn't Kelli cute? Later, in the evening she asked me if I'd seen her sunglasses because they had fallen off her hat. I told her I'd never seen her glasses and I was pretty sure she wasn't wearing them in the first place. Uh, whoops. Kelli, you were wearing your sunglasses, they're on your head. This is why I would fail miserably at being a detective and also I made coffee three times in a row today and thought my coffee pot was broken because the pot was full of clear hot water. The third time I went to make it I realized I hadn't been putting the COFFEE in the filter. So, please don't ever ask me to answer anything important....ever.
This is the house where The Big Squeeze happens. Pretty ding dang darlin', ain't it? Now, I'm super tired because I went to a Standing Game today and toted boys to a birthday party and hung laundry on the line and had to make coffee three times before I could actually drink it, so I need to get to bed. But, I have loads of awesome pictures and I promise I'll post more and explain what The Big Squeeze is.
Until then, what do you think a big squeeze is?

Crap on a Stick

I finally fixed my old laptop. Actually, I just went to a cute little computer fixing store that was filled with very cute-geeky-computer dudes and said, "Um, this is my computer and I think I need a new cord thingy." Then the cute-geeky-computer dude said a lot of words that I didn't understand, I paid him money and left. All I know is three days later they called me to come pick up the cord and now my computer works again.

And that is a problem.

Because, during the three months while this computer was collecting dust on my desk, I used Clay's slick Mac book and fell desperately in love with it. And I also stored all my photos on his computer.

So, when I sat down to post today I realized I don't have photos on my CRAP ON A STICK laptop. And how am I supposed to blog without photos?!!!

Ooooh, I know. A story. I'll tell an old story.

Once upon a time there was a young husband named Clay that had some sort of medical problem that his wife can't recall because it's been too long and her brain became mushy with each baby she pushed into the world.

The wife does remember that Clay came home from the doctor with a little plastic cup that he was supposed to fill with a sample of his poop and take it to a lab to be, to be, I don't know, smelled? Analyzed? Who knows. But he needed a sample.

Clay and his wife stared at the cup and wondered what was the best and cleanest solution to get poop into that small cup.

The wife, thanking GOD, this was not her problem and not wanting to participate in the final decision plaintively asked, "So, how are YOU going to do this?"

And that is when her husband coined this ever loving family memory;

"Well, I was thinking I would go get a stick...."

And that, my friends is why we call so many things is our lives CRAP ON A STICK.

'That house looks like CRAPONASTICK.'
'This tastes like CRAPONASTICK.'

My computer is CRAPONASTICK!!

the end.


This post brought to you by citizens that talk about bodily fluids and functions-April Showers Treasurer

Lactating Finds

When I was visiting Rechelle last week she drug me to a sweet little town that has a creamery and I bought some yummy cheese that made me want to have a milk cow so bad I almost started lactating. I threw in that lactating bit just for my sister, because I try very hard not to leave out bodily fluids in any of my posts. You're welcome, Rechelle.

We also stopped at an antique store. Rechelle stocked up on Nancy Drew books and I spent one American dollar on this;

Old Curtains, not the dog hair and leaves on the porch.

I couldn't stop looking at the pattern. And the colors, don't you just love the colors? Or is it just me?
These curtains were obviously used for quite some time because two of them are very sun faded, but I love that part too.
Now, what am I going to do with it? I was thinking a cute apron. Maybe embellish some towels. Or recover my office chair. Or, or, or.. what? What can I do with this?

FOUND!!!!

Oh, thank you all so much for your sweet words and prayers for our Preacher. I went to bed last night wondering how I was going to cope without him. Just as I was nodding off the phone rang. It was my veterinarian's exchange.

A man found Preacher crying on his porch and called the number that is on his rabies tag. I was so glad that he didn't care it was almost midnight and I'm so thankful I have a great vet that keeps his emergency exchange informed of all his animal's identification numbers so they can be reunited with their owners when they get lost.

Clay and I jumped in the truck and drove to the man's house. He lives about one and half miles from us.

Preacher hates to ride in a vehicle. He shivers and gets really stiff. But man, was he happy when we pulled up. He ran to greet us and let Clay set him on the seat next to me in the truck.

When we got home he ran straight in the house and got a drink of water out of the toilette, then sprinted upstairs and jumped on a sleeping Seth's head, then he ran into Ellen's room and licked her face, then he went to sleep.

We're very happy he's home. He's very happy to be home.

My guess is we had some cyclist out here yesterday when I was gone and I think they may have stopped to pet Preacher, which to Preacher is an invitation to come on a bike ride. Unfortunately, they didn't ride back to our house and he was left stranded and lost.

So, maybe I need to post a sign that says,

DO NOT PET OR TALK TO OUR VERY FRIENDLY DOG OR HE WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME!!!

or

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OUR DOG ON A BIKE RIDE UNLESS YOU BRING HIM BACK HOME.

or

NO NICE CYCLIST ALLOWED!!

Where's my Preacher?

When we got home from work and volleyball and football practice there was something a bit too calm about Coal Creek Farm.

Where's Preacher?

Preacher isn't home tonight.
He's never run away.
He's always here to greet us.

Where's my Preacher puppy?


I sure hope he comes home tomorrow. Life won't be the same without him. He helps me feed all the animals and hang the laundry and water the garden and pick pears and check on the pigs and chase the kids. Ramone and Virginia love Preacher they have a little bucket of water on their porch for him to get a drink out of when he comes over to visit. He gathers the cows for Ramone and plays with the calves and irritates the momma cows.


He lays on the porch furniture even though I tell him to get down. He knows I'll leave the porch eventually, so he can get back up on his cushions. Those cushions are filthy because of him. I'll take the filthy cushions if he will just come home.
My 6yo cried himself to sleep because he just needs his Preacher to come back home. And I hope I wasn't lying when I said I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow.

Who's going to bark at the moon tonight?