The Chifferobe

Here it is. Has anyone seen anything like it? Know anything about it? Am I going to have to call the Keno twins?

Beds For Sale

For Sale: One unused crib, one unused top bunk, one unused full size bed.

What you can't see is their big sister sleeping on the floor next to the bottom bunk that they are all huddled in. We really only need one twin bed and a two bedroom house.

Follow the Leader

There you are sweety right beside your dad. When I saw this photo I was going to write something about how you all were walking away and leaving me, but that's not what you were doing, you were following. Follow your Father sweet girl, walk in His path. See what your daddy is doing? That's where you go. Look behind you. See those boys? Help them follow the same path.

***
A- Tomorrow our girl will be 13.
C- I know. I still remember the day she was born.
A- That was a very old person thing to say.

***

Today as we rode in the car....

Me- Ellen your friend is so pretty.
E- I know and she's very kind too.
Seth- I know a girl just like that.
Me- Oh, who?
Seth- She's sitting in the passenger seat. (Referring to his sister)

***
Happy Birthday Bellers! I love you. Your daddy loves you. Your brothers love and adore you. Your Heavenly Father loves you. We are all so very, very proud of the lady you have become.

Isn't She lovely?

I drive by this house every chance I get. I stopped and took photos one day because I thought I heard something like, "Take a picture it lasts longer!"

Dear Custom Homebuilder Person,

I have enclosed a picture of a classic colonial home. It's simple really, it's called a rectangle. See the odd number of windows? That's pleasing to a person and so it symmetry. No need to thank me. If you have any questions about what helps a house continue to be longed for, sought after, awe inspiring or just lovely you can contact me here at Ranchoramaville.

XOXO,
April

Gangsta Thang

This is a chifferobe.

I bought one at a sale on Sunday. It was in the weirdest place. I found out the house, which was weird and huge, was once owned by a big Mafia dude that eventually became a senator with Harry S. Truman. Know who it was?

The house was a country/river hang out. It has underground tunnels leading to other buildings on the property. It was decked out in the most amazing stuff.

I can't find anything exactly like the dresser on the web. It actually has two mirrored wardrobes on each side and a mirrored hat box in the middle with the stack of drawers. It's very cool. On the back of one of the dove tailed drawers is a stamp Jan 1924.

The best thing? It smells musty. I ran out and bought some Beatrix Potter fleur drawer liners that smell like an old powdery grandma. So now I've got an old musty Mafia man's dresser being accosted by an old powdery lady. Seems appropriate.

She was happy to go.

I told him we would have better luck getting her to school in a vehicle, but he wanted to try flying one more time. He's strangely coordinated for a tall skinny man. Just look at the grace, the poise.

Eggcellent

The first egg.

Are you serious?

I called about an old house for sale with two acres. The realtor prefaced our conversation by telling me it needs a lot of updating. Yes, I know, cut to the chase lady, how much?

$495,000.00

Stupid. Who is going to buy that? Am I the only person that thinks this is absurd to the nth degree? Am I living amongst a bunch of millionaires and not aware of it? When did living out in the woods where life is quiet, but so Gall Bladder inconvenient become a place only for the wealthy and, God help us, the hungry land developer?

I just don't get it. I must be the only one that doesn't get it. I'm irritated.

How hard do you think it would be for one woman to change the land values in one area? What would I have to do? Start a weird rumor....people that live out here start growing extra teeth. Something like that? No?

What if I showed up on the seller's doorstep with a pie? Would he lower the price? What if he saw my pretty chickens and cute children and beautiful house design and how well I can do a pirouette?

Would it be too bold to fling myself at his feet and weep like a helpless animal shot in the back and left to die, cold, hungry, bleeding from my wound, foaming at the mouth. Pleeth, Pleeeeeeth, thell me your land cheeeeeeeeap. Have merrrrthy. I don't. Have. Much uugh...time.

Sour

How am I supposed to put pictures on my computer without that little cord thingy? I found two for my old camera. Where the halibut is the new one? Errr.

At the Dr.'s office:

Receptionist- Can you fill this out fast, cuz you were supposed to be here 15 minutes ago.

Me- My appointment was at 10, it's 10.

Snotty Receptionist- You needed to be here 15 minutes early to fill out paper work.

Eye Glaring Me- (Consider leaving and saying I'll find another Doctor with a nice receptionist) Yes, I can fill it out fast (and write so sloppy that you can't read it and throw the clip board at your head) and FYI you should try mailing these forms to save time (can't believe I actually said FYI).

Snotty-Poop-Head Receptionist- Yes, some people ask us to mail them.

Haughty Attitude Me- Well, that would have been nice to have done for me.


Why is it nearly impossible to find friendly front office people?

*Oh, I forgot to tell you that I wrote about chaos over at LG.
Do any of you have any great ideas for our sight over there? Let me know.

How sweet it is to....

-go into the little coffee shop just as they are closing and have them serve you a latte and absolutely refuse to be paid until next time you come in.

-have the dentist not find anything wrong with the tooth that you swear is hurting.

-find cute little folk lore chicken plates to put somewhere.

-come home to a clean kitchen compliments of your sweet kiddos.

-find eggs in the chicken coop everyday!

-have your children beg you to make scrambled eggs.

-see how excited your children get about looking for a double yolk.

-own chickens!

-listen to my almost two year old say words like; out, dawl-daw (all done), dang-doo (thank-you) and a whole host of other things that I can't even begin to decipher.

-have a fire pit outside with cute little tree stumps to sit on.

-breath the cool air.

-wear a jacket and a sweater.

-watch "Watership Down" with my boys and have them imitate the bird all day.....'Stupid bunnies you got not mates!'

-find $8.00 curtains at Target on the clearance rack to hang in the boys' room so I can take down the mini-blind aka "The Noose" that my baby tried to hang himself from.

-have a kind neighbor find my baby walking down the road and safely return him to his dumbfounded parents who swore he was playing safely with his siblings in the basement.

-to be able to run out and purchase baby-proof door knob covers.

-have God watching over me.

Health Nut

Who knows something about Agave Nectar? Want to share your knowledge? I've been using it since the whole sugar issue, but I can't find any real concrete information about it.

I'm going to start drinking green tea. Just as soon as I go to the store and get some and finish my 20 ounce cup of coffee.

I have set a new weight goal by December. I'm not going to share what it is, because right now I'm just doing a lot of thinking about it to get prepared for the work it will take to obtain the goal. And maybe it's not so much a weight goal as it is a healthy body goal.

Here are some of my plans.

-Start the morning with some form of protein
-drink green tea and more water along with my coffee
-stop drinking diet sodas
-eat whole foods, stop falling back on all the packaged goodness that man provides so easily
-exercise, I'm thinking about joining a Pilates club
-stop eating by 8:00 pm
-go to bed by 10:30 pm

Wanna join me? We can suffer together or be healthy together. I just don't want to waste anymore of my life being sluggish and wishing I woulda, coulda or shoulda done something besides complain about what I've done to myself.

September Eleventh

I woke to NPR saying something about a small plane crashing into a building. I hit the snooze.

I walked my son into his kindergarten class and heard the women in the office talking about a passenger plane that flew into the World Trade Center and five people had been killed.

I drove to my daughter's school and listened on the radio to something bad that had happened in New York City. A plane. World Trade Center. Another plane. The Pentagon. What was going on?

I walked into my daugter's school and saw teachers huddled around a T.V in the office. They were very quiet. Stunned. Three planes. We watched the building collapse. Who did this? One teacher uttered quietly, "We're going to war."

I was scared. Were we next? My husband works downtown close to the government building. I needed my family to be together in one spot. I went back and took my son out of his class, I wasn't the only parent that decided this was the best thing to do and none of the teachers questioned me.

It was a very sad and scary day. I shielded my children from the news and didn't let them see the cover of Time magazine. I didn't want them to see the bodies falling out of the building, it was just too severe. Those were people dying. It wasn't a movie, it was real.

I gave birth to a baby three months later. Our country was at war and searching for justice. Other babies were being born to mother's grieving for their loved one.

Today those babies are nearing their fifth birthday. Our country is still searching for justice.

God bless all the children born to the families that lost a loved one that day. I hope they are safe, healthy and loved.

It's just as sad today as it was five years ago.

Heard around the House

A- Every time I come down here you have your head stuck in the ceiling.

E- I don't want to be nice to my brother....I just want to eat cookies.

I- (an opera sung by apparently several shampoo bottles that includes quite an impressive vibrato) I dive down. I sit up he-er-er-er-ere. You move over and then I go uh-uh-uh-uh up.

I- Mom, sharky needs a kiss. Don't worry he won't bite you he's too little to bite. He also needs some covers.

A- Who put the dirty knife in the cubboard under the bowls? And the open jar of jelly? And the butter? Oh, never mind I don't want to know.

C to A- Shut off the light.
A to C- How many times do I have to tell you not to tell me?
C to A- (quoting some western movie) How's this gonna work if you don't do what I tell you.
A to C- How bout this? How bout you nip it in the nipper and zip it in the zipper and then stick it in your sticker?
C to A- Ahhh, honey you say the sweetest things. Now, shut off the light.

It's all a big fat blistery lie!

Today as I was sharing how attentive and loving I am to my children for the Larger Families blog, my baby was scaling the kitchen counter to drink the jelly out of the jelly jar and two of my other children were frying their brains on Playstation.

Just thought you all should know.