Language. It's something we all use. Some of us use it better than others. Some of us disregard well founded grammar rules. Pronunciation and definitions are meaningless dribble. Some of us are far to creative or, dare I say, lazy to use words properly. Some of us like to make up our own vocabulary and expect everyone to comprehend our violent slaughter of the English language.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I've never known a dog like Preacher. He plays with everything. And I do mean everything! I'll look outside and he'll be coming out of the cornfield with a four foot cornstalk in his mouth. He'll drag that stalk around until he gets tired and then he'll jump up on the trampoline and do a few flips...not really, but he probably could.
He loves to play with the swing. He loves to play soccer. He loves to chase our neighbors cattle. He loves to slosh around in water. He loves life.
But, mostly he loves to torment the chickens and the barn cats. We are certain that there is a little bit of herding dog in Preacher. He keeps his flock of chickens in check and makes sure the barn cats are never where they shouldn't be, like outside the barn. Poor things haven't seen the light of day for months thanks to Preacher.
So far, the chickens are protected from our over zealous pup by our "Heitschmidtized" enclosure. Did you know all you need to build a mini chicken coop are two tires, some old wood, two doors and some chicken wire? It's true.
And it works perfectly fine. Preacher agrees.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
You all haven't asked how we're doing on spending this month. I know you want to know how we can possibly survive the entire month without spending money on non-essential items. Well, you're in luck because I feel the need to share. I know, I'm nice like that.
These magic boxes are from my favorite yet disgusting grocery store, Aldi. Aldi and I have become best friends again. We meet up at least twice a week and then I run home after our play date and wash my hands for 30 minutes.
And what was is that I made my family buy for my birthday? Nothing. I KNOW!!! All I wanted was a homemade carrot cake with coconut icing. One of my friend back in St. Louis (PRPC people know her, she wins the dessert contest nearly every year at the harvest party...tall, blond, not me, but tall.. wait.. not blond, brunette, I think, first name starts with a C, is that enough info?) anyhoo, she made this cake years ago when I went to her house and it took all my will power not to eat another piece or beg to take some home. I've longed to taste that cake again for over four years and I needed to put an end to it. So I made Clay find a recipe and he made it. I had to show him where all the ingredients were and teach him how to use the food processor, other than that, he did great! And then he spent the rest of the night cleaning the kitchen until I yelled at him to GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!
This is what the cake looked like the next day. Um, I kind of had it for breakfast and maybe a tiny piece for lunch and then for a snack and maybe I snagged teensy bits every time I walked through the kitchen.
Gulp, belch, mmmmmm. Delicious. I think I'll ask for that cake next year too. But I also want a porch swing! I'm just sayin'.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
He had taken his brothers to the basement where they were huddled in fear. As I drove down our lane I started to see that something had hit our place with great force. Our basketball goal was down, fascia was missing from the house and the shed....smashed.
The shed was all over the cornfield. It looked like it had exploded. And the trees appeared to have puked all their extra limbs onto the ground.
What a mess. Hey, did I tell you we have a pond? Yea, Seth dug it last fall and Preacher digs in it everyday. Now it's full of wood and concrete and debris, but that doesn't seem to keep Preacher from sloshing around in it.
The big bad wind peeled back a section of our barn roof. My neighbor asked if we were going to call our insurance and at first I didn't think we would, but then my father told me to call because we probably had more damage than we thought. So that's the insurance dude on the barn roof.
And this is the gaping hole in the roof. One of my friends (who is one of those folks that feels sorry for us living out here on this old place) said, "What's your insurance going to do send you some scraps of metal and old wood?" But, then I thought well, uh, yeah. Aren't most barns made out of metal and wood? And if it's destroyed it's a pretty big loss. I mean my chickens don't have a home now, cuz it's laying out in the cornfield!
poured out by April at 12:15 PM
Monday, April 14, 2008
And you...well, you are getting large. Very large and very old. But, I'm still larger and older than you, so there.
You got the part of a hippopotamus in a play that was on your birthday. It was awesome. You thought it was terrible that you had to be in a play on your special day. I know this because you told me about three trillion times.
You got a ginormous cake this year. First you wanted chocolate pie, then pudding, then cheesecake, then angel food cake, yes angel food cake was definitely what you wanted. For good measure I asked once more what kind of cake you wanted and you said, "Oh, I don't care, how about chocolate with strawberries on top dipped in chocolate or devil's food cake would be good or one of those ice cream cakes, but whatever I don't care." Right.
You are impossible. Impossibly dramatic. Impossibly funny. Impossibly in a world I can't fathom entering. You start every conversation with me like this, "Mom..." even though I'm sitting right next to you. I usually say, "I'm right here, I haven't moved since you asked me the last question, you know, the one that had nothing to do with what we are studying?". You have this uncanny ability to pay attention to what I'm saying and then ask me a stupid question about Harry Potter. If I ask what I just said you'll repeat what I said like you're a tape recorder. It's very annoying. We've had days that I had to tell you to stop quoting people/movies/books etc. and it's actually difficult for you.
You are not yet too cool to react to how much you love your birthday. You made me listen to the countdown to the day for, oh let's see, FOUR MONTHS! Yeah, and then you forgot my birthday, which is a mere four days after yours. Uh-huh. We were never so glad that your birthday was OVER. But, the excitement you put in it made all of us more excited than we ever should have been.
I tried to put as many flavors as possible in your cake. That way you didn't regret not choosing one over the other. Your welcome. I love you. Please stop growing up so stinkin' fast.
Fact- If you go to the store wearing those old jeans you've had for the last decade, have three festering zits and choose to do nothing with your hair or make-up.... you will see at least a dozen people you know, half of which you can't remember their names but they will make it a point to yell your name across the store, even though you are certain that in your state of ugliness you are completely unrecognizable.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Yesterday, I, gulp, um, had my 38th birthday. Funny thing is I've been telling people I'm 38 for the past year. You see, the dealy-hoo is, Clay is six months older than me, but I always think we're the same age, so when he turns a year older...bam... so do I. It's makes sense in my head.
This is for Annie. She asked what Rock Chalk Jayhawk means. And I was well? There's the limestone and it's chalky and the bird and it rhymes and uhhh? So if you combine all these comments together, subtract the tiger stuff, and drink a few beers I think you'll have the answer.
poured out by April at 7:25 AM
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I'm thinking about trading in our van for a moped with two side cars. Filling up the tank for the van is sucking my wallet dry! DRY I say!